Really upside down #2

[upside_downer]

I'm very afraid of that. I'm not exactly sure why.

I actually feel pretty calm right now. I felt a little anxiety today creeping in, and I got up ad did some things to keep me busy and soothed. I felt worried some because yesterday she said she was in training, and she was out of office again today (training doesn't usually take two days). My mind wandered to "what if she is doing something with a lawyer, or getting papers ready? Or what if she is spending the day with someone?"

Amazingly, though, I didn't get too uptight about it. In fact, barely. I kinda thought to myself "so what? It's not like I can change it if that is what she is doing."

That was a good natural feeling that I enjoyed because I was able to deal and not freak out.

I WOULD like to speak with her because we talked about doing lunch this week and I want to do it tomorrow. I also had the idea that maybe I'd extend an invitation for her to take a day off with me and go to a baseball game downtown. But....she hasn't contacted me. If I know her, if she doesn't call tonight, she will email tomorrow.

And I'm ok with that. I'm just chillin.