OK guys, i only have a few minutes, I have a major inferno in my own home to put out.
1. Sorry Buster, this is the harest part of dbing, the heat of the affair when painful reality hits is square in the face while we are maturely fighting for a marriage our partner is running from. I have read some real horror stories on some forums. But chin up, getting rough on yourself is only letting him win.
2. I agree with PDT on all counts - move back in, put your home up for sale if you have to, call a lawyer, and call social services on her too
3. Giving up? Nope, just changing strategy a bit. Take back your home, take back your son, take back your life. You gave her the kinder road and she discarded it.
4. If you give up, he wins and you don't want that. I think the boldest thing you can do right now is move back into your home and NOT push for divorce yet. Show your parents, your pastor, AND her parents that you are the adult. You can always change your mind later. But right now I think the boldest thing you can do is move back in and show them you don't care what she did and that you are still an adult despite her childishness.
She's handing you a straight ball here and you can bat it into the bleachers by showing indifference to her actions as far as divorce.
My bet is her friends and her family will be doing enough beating up on her righ tnow that you can just sit back and watch the storm.
"I love her but I am not going to allow my son to tolerate that in his home" is a real slugger line for you to throw at everyone right now.
YOu can always change your mind later, but right now, I think reacting with indifference rather than divorce would be really classy and powerful right now.
