for the first time in a long time I can't fall asleep....so upset. I pretty much know OM is there almost every night. Too many bad memories for me to move in. Although I have to admit I have been way too nice to her all along . this mornings shenanigans kicked something on inside of me. Short and to the point from now on, me and my son are the concern. No more nicey nice
GOOD!
I answered your legal question on my previous post, but when I asked you what you were going to do to enforce your boundary, I wasn't thinking legally.
Why don't you simply move back into your own home? I gotta imagine that would put QUITE the damper on their sex life. Nothing like a little infideltus interruptus, kwim??
puppy I understand completely where you're coming from. It's my house too and I shouldn't have moved out, but I wasn't going to make the situation awkward to the point where she took our son and left. It doesn't matter what events took place. I love my son too much to make his mother pack up his stuff and move him out. My son is way more important than brick and mortar. I hope someday you guys will see where I'm coming from on this. She just picked our son up; I put him in her car, kissed him and walked away. Didn't say a word to her. Wanted her to know how hurt I was, not that she'll ever care
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
didn't even wait for an apology. Knowing her, actually I don't know her. Let me start over. The only way I'd get an apology Is if she were a different person. I might get a text saying sorry but I'm not responding. She doesn't respect my wishes, consider my opinions or feel remorse anymore. Both sides of our families are telling me to go ahead with the divorce.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
Even if I moved back in, I leave at 1130pm for work and he shows up after I leave and leaves before I get home. No use no winning
It's the principle, Buster. Take back control. Send a message.
You're giving up, and -- frankly -- I'm confident that your wife doesn't find it very attractive, and the two of them probably have some nice conversations at your expense.
Buster, what do you want from us? "Permission" to quit? Since you've come on here, you've whined, complained, and told us every reason why everything we've suggested won't work. All you've done is feel sorry for yourself, from where I'm sitting.
Look, I know the hand you've been dealt SUCKS. I've been there -- remember? Pain has come to pay you a visit, and you have a choice as to what you do with it: let it consume you, or push your way through it.
We can give you specific techniques and suggestions to help you do what it is YOU decide you want to do. But we can't make the decision for you.
OK guys, i only have a few minutes, I have a major inferno in my own home to put out.
1. Sorry Buster, this is the harest part of dbing, the heat of the affair when painful reality hits is square in the face while we are maturely fighting for a marriage our partner is running from. I have read some real horror stories on some forums. But chin up, getting rough on yourself is only letting him win.
2. I agree with PDT on all counts - move back in, put your home up for sale if you have to, call a lawyer, and call social services on her too
3. Giving up? Nope, just changing strategy a bit. Take back your home, take back your son, take back your life. You gave her the kinder road and she discarded it.
4. If you give up, he wins and you don't want that. I think the boldest thing you can do right now is move back into your home and NOT push for divorce yet. Show your parents, your pastor, AND her parents that you are the adult. You can always change your mind later. But right now I think the boldest thing you can do is move back in and show them you don't care what she did and that you are still an adult despite her childishness.
She's handing you a straight ball here and you can bat it into the bleachers by showing indifference to her actions as far as divorce.
My bet is her friends and her family will be doing enough beating up on her righ tnow that you can just sit back and watch the storm.
"I love her but I am not going to allow my son to tolerate that in his home" is a real slugger line for you to throw at everyone right now.
YOu can always change your mind later, but right now, I think reacting with indifference rather than divorce would be really classy and powerful right now.
