Has anyone heard from Pinkie even in the alternate universe?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I haven't posted in awhile because my threads were being watched. First by OW then by H. I stopped posting because my H would read then yell read then yell. It felt like an invasion and a waste. He said that I was ruining our R by going on here. He read your posts and picked out the things I did wrong then chided me that I always right, go on for advice then don't listen anyways cause I know everything. I just didn't want the harassment.
But guess what, it doesn't matter if I post on here or not, if I'm not on here it is something else I am doing wrong that is causing our problems. I think his real problem with me posting on here is OW might read it. Well it is not as big an issue now that I have finally been able to maintain my boundaries.
The past few weeks have been some of the hardest since I first found out about the A. H is living at his parents, for real, but spends very little time with D or I. We talk almost everyday but he is mostly nasty and accusing. I thought perhaps it was finally withdrawal, but its not. I got the phone bill and there were calls to OW on it, only 2 but I also know there is an affair phone, one that if I call rings 4 times which means it is charged.
So I guess the fact that I have gone by H's wishes and not posting did not save our marriage...I'm pretty sure nothing will.
He will probably read this and if he does it will be nothing I wouldn't say to him in person if he ever took the time to talk to me. Maybe he will blame me again. But I need someone to talk to.
I hear the way he speaks to me - in the last month in particular and I know that if he stepped back and listened he would be disgusted. I have allowed him to become this person by not standing up for myself. I used to be a strong woman. He used to be a nice man.
To believe that the reason I was told this affair started was because the poor other woman was a victim of verbal abause and he was worried for her and concern turned into something more, when I think of the things that have been said to me, witheld from me and the damage that has been done to my belongings it would be hard to believe she endured anything worse, especially since I had to hear about each of her sagas at my dinner table. The difference is I always defend my husband to others, or hide the things he says or does and look for reasons why he acts this way and she used it as a lure to get people to feel sorry for her and steal my H.
Thanks for asking about me friends, I have been reading and keeping up on your sitches.
Me~34 H~38 D6.5
EA/PA-DEC.07
Moved out~Apr.13,08 Sep. Papers~Dec.7,08 No contact order ~Dec.9,08 and again October 13, 2009
I am so glad that you have decided to post again. Sometimes you guys are the only ones who understand where I am coming from and I don't want you to not have that. ((((SW))))
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
(((SW))) Nice to hear from you again. I had so hoped that things would be better and I'm truly sorry that they aren't.
Maybe if H reads some of your posts with a half-way open mind, he might see some things that need to change and be willing to do so.
Again, glad to see you back. (((hugs)))
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I have been wondering about you, and hoping you were ok! With the "things" going on, I was never sure what was you, and what was him. I'm happy to see YOU!
