If I may chime in and I don't want to put words in your mouth but I have an idea I know what you are asking.
Ok, you have gone through this difficult experience. Now what are you going to do with it. How are you going to move forward. What is it about you that contributed to the breakdown of your marriage and how will you change it. What are your character flaws and what are you going to do to improve those things.
This is not gender specific either. I asked these questions of myself. And I came up with answers. I will pass for now as I have answered these things any number of times on this board.
Now what are the real deep answers. What is your soul searching telling you. And I would like to add that I asked God what He wanted me to do and God told me that He gave me a brain, a body and abilities to figure it out for myself.
