For the Guy with Kids and a WW 8

[Sugar and Spice]

BTW, that was the original reason for my post. Figuring out what would be best for the kids. Letting them be with mom? Fighting for custody with me? Equal sharing?

I'm getting what I want. I've prayed and prayed on it and I hope it is what is best for the girlies.

H4H,

That's an INTENSELY personal decision, and one we've all had to think long and hard about. Personally, I came to the conclusion that my wife's wayward lifestyle (meeting up with OM in parking lots, staying out late, lying repeatedly, not feeding the kids because she was out with OM doing god-knows-what, avoiding church, etc.) was NOT an environment in which I wanted my children growing up, so I went for full custody. I don't believe that the "fogged out" state of mind that people involved in active affairs are in is conducive to good parenting. Once they end their affair, go through withdrawal, and get some good counseling, I think they can once again be the kind of parent they were before, but it's a 6-12 month process.

But that's just me; YMMV.

Puppy

Puppy, thanks for clarifying YMMV...I was stumped. If and when my sitch goes to full blown D, unless my H has made some MAJOR changes in his lifestyle, I will seek and do whatever I have to do to receive full custody. If he has changed and he has sought help for his gambling and is either with Dos Trolls or is being a responsible adult, then I would be open to discussing joint custody. I'm with Puppy. Its such a personal and situational thing that you have to do what your heart tells you. First and foremost though, is she going to be able to take care of your kids? Will they be safe, fed, and in a healty environment? Thats what my major concerns would be. As far as their beds and things are concerned, she wants to leave, let her provide them with the things they need at her place. They need beds and stuff for their room at her apartment, then let her provide them. This is her choice, her circus...let her be the ringmaster. This is a consequence of her actions, let her figure it out.

(((H4H)))