My H is anti-counseling and would have to be pushed into going. I have known this for a while since last spring when he first left me and I begged him to consider doing counseling. He absolutely refused. Then when he left me again over the winter he even said to me that he knows we should get counseling but he feels it would have been a waste of time. So he didnt want to do it.
Now that he has been back with me since this spring C has only been mentioned once in the heat of a fight. But we never pursued it becuase we said if we need help making choices and finding solutions then we will try it. But I know he only said it to appease me, he really hates the idea of it, so I dont push it.
I have gone by myself to two different places and I really didnt get a whole lot from either one. Both councelors were telling me that he is an alcoholic and that the problems will only get worse and that I am better off alone. I didnt want to hear that, but both were credible sources and seemed to think just like my family and friends and everyone else that I just dont deserve what he has put me through.
I think that I am one of the only ones who can really see my H's pain (even though he only has the bankruptcy as an excuse) and I see that he is still searching to find himself (and a new career). This is going to take time, I just hope that I can deal with it all.
I have considered going back to counseling but I feel like I would have to hide it, so that my H doesnt think I am looney. Thats how he would look at it. Also I would have to hide it, becuase it would make H feel like I am just being a victim (his favorite line).
IDK what to do, C is expensive and I never felt like I got a whole lot out of it. Right now I am just using Michelles books as a guide and so far so good. I just have a whole lot of inner thoughts and emotions to deal with that I cant really speak out to my H with out the fear of him running.
Also, there have been small improvements on my H's drinking. He isnt going to the bars as much as he used to, he is spending more time with me. He does still pop into them, and get drunk though - but it is getting better. Much better than in this past year. TIPPER
