Met with my C today. She continues to be supportive of what I want to do, which is nice. She agreed whole heartedly that I need to let H know that I know about OW. I let her read my letter, and she thinks I need to cut out the first three paragraphs and just get to the reason for the letter----no more apologies, no more putting blame on myself. She also thinks I need to be there when he reads it. Since she knows our whole story and knows my H (she is our MC), she thinks I need to be present when he reads it. Of course the reaction will be unpredictable, but she's confident that if I am not there, he will read it and avoid me more...............which makes sense. Still working it all out in my head...............It's not much of a letter anymore, more like a memo:
Over the past two years I have felt you pull away from me. I have felt our connection fade in to nonexistence. I have known for quite some time that this was not just about us. I have known for a long time that there was someone else. I know that you have established a relationship with OW. I confirmed this fact several weeks ago. I know that she has recently divorced her husband, and has two children of her own to raise.
I am writing this letter because I know that if we can ever have a future together, you need to know that I know about your relationship with OW, and I think that I know at least some of the issues that you are facing. I also want you to know that I still believe that we can get through this, and I am prepared to do the work.
I have had problems dealing with scheduling time with the kids. Our inability to communicate is making this difficult. The fact that I know about OW will not, and has not changed my attitude regarding our children or their well being---they need us both, and with your help, I want to work out a schedule that will work for us both. I do not intend to broadcast to the world what I know, and haven't, with respect for our children.
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
