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[redsawks44]

I think you should send it right before you go out of town. That way, she'll have time to think about what you wrote while you're away. Of course, I may just be saying that because I'm a big chicken about those things...

You'll also have time to look it over. I'd pray over it too...Pray for you wifes heart as she reads it, and that she'll see only good intentions in it.

That is what I am going to do, i will rework a couple things i thought of tonight.. and if you want you can help me again?

I will pray as well.. (i have a family of prayers too..)

thank you

[redsawks44]

I agree with sending it right before you leave. Give her time to let it sink in.

Do you think handwritten would be more personal? If so, write it out, then leave it on the counter when you go. Otherwise, e-mail it to her, and maybe a verbal, I sent you an e-mail.

I don't know handwritten ... or email.. i think handwritten is more personal but email is there always, unless she deletes it.

thoughts?

[redsawks44]

so short update, i get home from gym, W is here shortly after.. we chat briefly.. i try on these new shorts i bought, apparantly i bought junior large LOL.. i struggle to get them on.. i show her.. (i got to show off my workouted body a little) .. and the top of my butt is hanging out.. we laughed pretty hard. Then the usual please pluck my eyebrows/ears (i really need to get that lasered)..

we chat briefly..

Got to chat a little.. she said i smelt like gym.. i took a shower came out and sat beside her on the couch as she browsed facebook, she didn;t object, rather started explaining this is so and so etc..

she said i smelt quite a bit better.

The i asked about my Van Halen shirt, and cutting off the sleeves, she says "that will look trailer trash-like".. i said you are right.. Then she says "again why should i care, why am i telling you it will look bad"..

so she must still care ..

plus she heard me playing hide and seek with the dogs.. their fave game

I won't send anyhting tonight

[redsawks44]

Here's my tweaked version. Take from it what you want. After all, it's your letter. I also fixed some spelling errors and CAPITALIZED your "I"'s.

W,
I want you to know that I'm writing this with no expectations. I don't expect you to respond to this. I wanted to take the chance to tell you what has been on my heart lately. First off, I need to apologize to you. I respectfully and sincerely apologize for hurting you in any way, shape or form. My intent was never to hurt you ever. I was not the husband to you that you deserved. How I went from being the guy I was when we met, to the guy I turned into, I am not sure. A lot of withheld emotion is what I think. I was always the type to hold all emotions in until the boiling point. When my dad died, I held it all in, and never really got in touch with those feelings until I was in my 20's. I know this is no excuse for my actions and I take full responsibility for the man I was.

In the past 2 months, I have gone and revealed myself to people like never before. The anger that controlled me for so long has gone away. I’ve been able to step back from it and see my life in a clearer light. How could I possibly be angry when I have such a great wife, dogs, cats, family, job and friends (save a few)? Life is way too short to be angry.

I now see that I was often dishonest with you and took advantage of you. That was selfish, and I understand why you are angry, and I don't blame you for being angry for even a moment. I wasn't aware that whatever I did, would affect the both of us and had I done so, I could have seen that you loved me regardless.

You supported me, and never held me back. I should have done a better job at supporting your endeavors. I know how hard you work and how much you wanted your business. I am very, very proud of you.

You were my heart and soul for 4 years. I enjoyed traveling with you, living with you, and loving you. You taught me a lot about things I never knew. You showed me new places and introduced me to new people, and I am so appreciative of that.

I am a better person for having shared my life with you. I am working on continuing to better myself. I have "me" until the end of time, and if I am not happy with myself, I will never be truly happy. Going to the gym and doing yoga is something I should have started long ago. It completely takes all the stress out of my day and translates into positive energy. I have gotten out any dishonesty from my past. Nothing but the truth from now on.

Again, thank you for having loved me.

I hope someday you forgive me.

Contritely,
Red

((ladybug)) that is awesome..

i wanted to throw something in there about my family lovinbg her.. too much?

she wants me to setup her new laptop..

and i am not going out of town likely till sunday now.. as a good friend is moving far away and his party is saturday

[ms ladybug]

I don't know the dynamics of her relationship with your family, but I'd leave it out. This is about YOU making it right with her. Throwing in the fact that your family loves her will just look like your trying to make her feel guilty.
Set up her laptop.
I think email is better than handwritten, just so you are able to correct all spelling and grammer errors. Which in case you haven't noticed, is pretty big for me. Also, unless you have beautiful handwriting, typed is easier on the eyes.

[redsawks44]

I don't know the dynamics of her relationship with your family, but I'd leave it out. This is about YOU making it right with her. Throwing in the fact that your family loves her will just look like your trying to make her feel guilty.
Set up her laptop.
I think email is better than handwritten, just so you are able to correct all spelling and grammer errors. Which in case you haven't noticed, is pretty big for me. Also, unless you have beautiful handwriting, typed is easier on the eyes.

email it will be... i just have to decide when.. i want to reread it a couple more times.... and she knows about my family anyways... she was going to write them an email..

[redsawks44]

so short update, i get home from gym, W is here shortly after.. we chat briefly.. i try on these new shorts i bought, apparantly i bought junior large LOL.. i struggle to get them on.. i show her.. (i got to show off my workouted body a little) .. and the top of my butt is hanging out.. we laughed pretty hard. Then the usual please pluck my eyebrows/ears (i really need to get that lasered)..

we chat briefly..

Got to chat a little.. she said i smelt like gym.. i took a shower came out and sat beside her on the couch as she browsed facebook, she didn;t object, rather started explaining this is so and so etc..

she said i smelt quite a bit better.

The i asked about my Van Halen shirt, and cutting off the sleeves, she says "that will look trailer trash-like".. i said you are right.. Then she says "again why should i care, why am i telling you it will look bad"..

so she must still care ..

plus she heard me playing hide and seek with the dogs.. their fave game

I won't send anyhting tonight

To me this seemed like good stuff, to her i guess it could be different ..correct?

The email goes out tonight perhaps.. i have all day to think about it..

[MichelleLT]

Good moments are good moments. What is different is that you see it as hope for a M, and she probably sees it as friendship right now.

Just remember, you have to build that friendship up first before you can have a new romantic R.

[redsawks44]

Good moments are good moments. What is different is that you see it as hope for a M, and she probably sees it as friendship right now.

Just remember, you have to build that friendship up first before you can have a new romantic R.

When i send the letter, I am very curious what she will think, i really hope she reads it with her heart. And yes we are friends, friends that don't ALOT together, but we have our moments, watching the occasional movie and walking our dogs.. it's time spent at least

[jon2911]

And yes we are friends, friends that don't ALOT together, but we have our moments, watching the occasional movie and walking our dogs.. it's time spent at least

And this is good. Most WAW's move out immediately and avoid all contact except for business for a while. To get to the friendship phase you're in took me 6 months. Just keep building that, and don't get anxious.