Mulesqb - Still alive and Kickin'

[lovehopefaith]

Let me just say that I could have written your above post... When H and I began our relationship, we laughed and talked about everything, but I know now that over the years it's changed, and it's hard when we are together to not talk about the day-to-day, family-and-kids thing. It's very hard. But that's why life changes, I think, and some people roll with it better than others. I think I rolled with the "parent" changes better than my H, who still has some yearning for a fun-and-exciting life... whereas I just accepted that life has different stages and this parenting thing was a new one. I don't want to be out in bars getting drunk with the music so loud I can't even carry on a conversation. But I also now realize that there needs to be a balance in our life -- not shunning all responsibility and whooping it up, as I think my H wants to sort of do, nor shunning all fun and worrying about my little girl all the time, as I have done a lot.

But the hard part is even though I realize this -- it's getting my H to come to the same conclusion and/or realize that I've changed my views on this... so I can relate to finding that balance.

And although my H and I have settled into a new way of "being" during the past few weeks -- eating together, doing some family things together, getting along, etc. -- I also still panic the minute he wants to be alone. He still sleeps in another room, and likes to go off and take nature photos -- which makes me freak instead of just calmly accepting it. I just try not to let him know I'm freaking out inside. I also feel like you -- it's the "current state" that makes me get caught up in this.

So I can completely relate. You are not alone! It's like coasting... but you know that brick wall is in front of you somewhere. I can handle the current state, for the most part, but I know there's hard work coming. I know there may be disappointment coming. I feel like I can't disrupt the new balance right now. And then there's the patience issue.

Do you go back in the DR book regularly? I have to say it has been my biggest savior in times of insanity. I have highlighted lines in it that give me advice or strength, and I have post-it notes in it too. Sometimes I just flip to a chapter and start re-reading all my highlighted parts and it reminds me to continue on my path.

Or do you have something "quick" you can turn to for a few minutes? I often pick up the crossword or Sudoku puzzles in the paper to waste time when I'm freaking out and it gives me something to focus on.

I know that isn't the best advice, but I wanted you to know that you have many other friends here who are stuck in the same holding pattern.