2 steps forward, 3 back

[HSSweetheart]

If I could wave a magic wand, my life's dream, I would return back my husband. The man I married, not this current incantation of him. How would I act differently - I would do as I did when he returned to me 3 yrs ago, I would worship the ground he walked on, rarely arguing. I gave him back/foot/scalp massages every day and I waited on him. I never said no or I am too tired to be intimate. I spent most nights with him watching something or going out. I allowed him time on the weekends to go out with friends like he wanted so that he would be happy. I openly communicated and told him my feelings. I'm not saying I was perfect in any way, but I tried to be the best me I could be for him. I was his 1950's wife except that I worked. I kept a good house for him. Apparently he didn't want me though. I don't think there is a hope, he has told me this repeatedly that he doesn't love me, it is over, move on, etc etc etc. He said even if it was the worst move of his life he wouldn't take it back. Says I am bitter and that I am a control freak. Says I controlled his life for 25 yrs he wants to do it himself now. Paying bills and buying clothes for the first time in his adult life and says he likes it. I never didn't allow him to do these things, he would never do them. Now he is forced to. Forcing him is usually the only way he would do something.
Right now I am going into financial mode, going to go through my finances and everything in the house to see what I can sell to pay my taxes and I have to replace my oil tank soon as I will be out of oil and it leaks. That means no heat or hot water shortly, and I cannot afford it nor will anyone give me a loan with his name on the deed. I am really screwed and don't want to sell for my sake or the kids who remind me daily they don't want to move.