Dance, I know I have brought this up before. If she doesn't want to open up and talk about it, how do I make that happen? I always want to know how I did from her. And I do verbalize when she is doing something that feels really nice to me and guide her to what feels the best or what I want at the time. But for whatever reason she just does not want to talk about what she wants, needs or feels. Even things as simple as, "harder or softer?", "faster or slower?", I can't get feedback from her during the act of ML. Believe me I do ask and have never stopped asking.
It really just annoys her for me to ask, "Did you enjoy that? I want to know how intense it was for you." Maybe the difference is that she truly is LD. You and Ali I think are HD who had your desires squashed and then went back to your natural states of HD once the pressure of other stuff in your relationships were removed and you felt that connection again. For her it is ND until the pressure is off and then LD is her natural state if she feels connected.
She has never ever initiated, never told me she's horny. We can have the most wonderful romantic evening together and she would be perfectly happy for it end with us just going to sleep with no ML, if that's not LD I don't know what is.
When we first were together she didn't want to talk sex before during or after. I never thought anything of it, I just thought well as long as I am pleasing her and I knew I was pleasing her. I got enough feedback then to know. I guess to an LD it's, "well this feels nice, it can't get any better than this, end of discussion."
