"So, my W called her L this morning and left a message regarding what we had talked about last night, and had been discussing regarding the 50/50 custody and residency. Well, L calls back and says she won't call my L and then pretty much convinced my W that I am being manipulative, don't want to pay C/S and that 50/50 is not best for their kids given their age. I tried talking some sense into her and we will be discussing things tonight but, basically, as my L said, it's GAME ON."
And usually a 50/50 split of the children will effect the support payments. Looking at it from the other L's side.. it is easy to say.. no you need to press for full custody.. that way you get more support. Again.. the L is a extension of you.. but they have their wallets to look after to.. and they want to make sure you get all you can. Even if your wife said heck no.. the L will push for more than the client wants. And they will usually convince the client.. it is in their best interest.. any way they can. Play the game.. just don't let it get out of hand.. it is really hard to do all the L stuff.. and be nice about it.
"The response is being drafted that is basically going to fire a flare across the bow saying, nope...I have been the primary caregiver, according to the statute that governs temporary custodianship and we have proof!"
That is solid protect yourself..
"Also, her texts are being subpeonaed (subpeona being drafted right now and will be faxed today) - helps that her phone was under my name up through 7/10. Heck, from the sounds of it, they are going to subpeona the messages after 7/10. And this is just the start of the business end. Gripes!"
Depending on the cell carrier.. all this will likely detail is who she was texting.. not what was said. Last I checked.. about 2 months ago.. AT&T was about the only company keeping a log of texts.. and it was.. not that accurate. There is a lot of discussion about this between L's.
"Heck, she even asked me what will happen during the motion hearing on 8/14 and I said that the judge will look at the facts, look at the law governing temporary custodianship and issue a ruling unless we agree otherwise. She didn't read the f'ing papers she had issued to me."
I gotta expect.. your wife is just "along for the ride" here. She has placed her "life" in the hands of this L and is expecting them to do the right thing. This is not always a smart choice. She may regret it.. you just make sure you don't regret any decisions you and L make.
"Not only do I need to do my very best DB'ing tonight, but I also need to figure out how to get her to believe I am not being manipulative."
The way you show up as not manipulative.. is make sure you are clear with how things are going to go. Make sure and ask the L what you can.. and can't talk about. Tell her within the confines of the L's rules.. what is going on.
You must be clear.. and concise.. did you get a notepad? And are you writing stuff down?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
