My intention is not to coach you to roll over and get the same again. I would never do that. I want to tell you that I see you clearly because I was married to a man just like you. Parts of your response to my post broke my heart and I need a little time to process some of the things you have said.
I'm sorry that you feel unworthy and that you have found yourself in a loveless marriage. I'm sorry that the fact that you were "raised in a combat zone" has caused you to need peace at all cost. Especially the cost of you ever knowing what it means to love and be loved. You know Will, even *love* entails combat. Soulmates fight and make-up and then fight again. There isn't going to come a time when there won't be problems that have to be faced and negotiated, even in the most loving relationship.
I don't want to talk about Shiela or how it feels to be loved by her and to love her. I'm not interested in judging you or causing you to feel you have to defend your feelings for this woman. I think we need to take that out of the picture all together cause, there is something you need to understand...no matter who you are in a relationship with there are going to be times when it will feel like a "combat zone." I see that as a major issue with you and believe that no matter who you are in a relationship with you will probably let that stand in your way of having a productive relationship where everyone's needs are met.
I would like to continue to communicate with you. I do believe you need someone to talk to that has an understanding of what you are going through and I also believe that you might help me to continue to understand some of what my ex husband felt during our marriage. I would rather do it off the board though. It's the only way I can express my feelings unguarded. If you are willing to do that, my email address is tolemakr@comcast.net. If not then we can continue via the board, it's completely up to you. Cathy~
