Personally, I feel that a week isn't that long and should give you both a chance to decompress from each other and reflect upon the weight of the letter....but I'm not positive on that one. It may seem cold to do it before she leaves. But to be honest with you, from what you describe, you wife is very cold to you anyway and therefore, I doubt she will have a problem with getting it before she leaves. I feel bad for "judging" her when we only have your side of the story but - yikes - everything you describe, she just doesn't have any warmth in her for you at all. And for that reason, before she leaves seems good to me.
I hope I am not wrong. I would hate to be party to another woman's pain, if it will be painful for her. But on the other hand, I do truly hope you and she can work it out, and it will likely require some pain to do so!
