I wish you the best with the choices that you make. It is not nearly so cut and dried as those who have not walked in our shoes might think.
It has been my experience and listening to others that the WA does not often file for D. Often they don't want to be "the one". Mine had been living with maggot for years. Then when I finally said ENOUGH and filed so I could get peace and not worry he was going to screw up financially (he was prone to it) - he said to the kids "Just remember - the divorce is what your mother wanted". No, I NEVER wanted a divorce. But I was not willing to share him with maggot forever either.
I don't think he wanted to be free to marry maggot (as he did). But he had no recourse once divorced. She had divorced soon after leaving her ex. But she had emotionally left the M long before.
I don't think they want to be the bad guy. I don't think they want to do the work. And like us - they worry about the financial outcome of the divorce.
In your case there has actually been mention of him possibly returning. I had not heard that for 3 years by the time I filed. So maybe yours will. For your sake, I hope so, as long as he will make the changes necessary in order for your M to survive.
