Bring on the Rain - Part 4

[SueS]

Hello to everyone!

Well, we move a little bit more last night. H got home, made dinner and then asked if I wanted to get some more things over to the new place. He was very quiet. I don't think things at work are going so well. I talked to him for just a minute yesterday at work. I asked how his day was. He said, it doesn't matter, it just doesn't matter anymore.

When getting some things together yesterday to move, I told him that we could put some of the pictures in the my closet and he could come and get them when he was ready. He said, No, I'll probably just have you keep them. Now these are pictures he LOVES. I know he wants them. I asked why. He said, because I think it looks like I am going to be moving back to IN. I told him that no matter where he goes, I'll keep them until he can come and get them. I didn't push him on why. He's told me twice now in the past week that he's thinking about moving back there. He's just really screwed up right now. I worry about him. I know I can't do anything to make it better or change it for him. I know that now. I just still worry. We have a D4 together and for as many wrong things as he's done, I want D4 to have her daddy around.

Last night D4 said something to me that made me cry. She was laying there and she said, Mommy, why do you cry sometimes when you talk to Daddy about OW? Do you cry because you think daddy loves OW the best? Can you tell me why you cry mommy? Then she said Mommy, Daddy loves you, it's just that sometimes he loves you the best and sometimes he loves OW the best. Now I knew my child was very observant, but I had NO idea that she'd caught on to why I cry. I just told her that I love her daddy and I tried to change the subject. I didn't know what to tell her. I mean, what would any of you have said?

H asked me to please take him to the gas station last night so he could fill his car up. His license is suspsended right now, but he's been taking a chance on driving to/from work. I still don't know what he's planning on doing.

Well, I better get some work done today. Busy day again at work. A little miscommunicatin between myself, one boss and the other boss has caused a bit of friction today. Not fun.

SueS