Bring on the Rain - Part 4

[Rob1231]

You're getting better at not rising to the bait when he tries to taunt you, Sue - good job.

Be strong, and hold him to providing what he owes for D4. No obnoxious, petty game-playing allowed when it comes to that!

[karen43]

Just nasty today. The nerve of the guy to have a freakin' date last night and then think it's okay to treat me like sh*t today???

SueS

So sorry Sue! I remember those awful days when my H would go out on dates, overnight dates, and weekend dates with the OW. I do regret now that I didn't kick him out at that point; I was way too nice. I think you are too!!!! ((((Sue))))

[fightingirish]

((((sue))))

Totaly sh!thead!.. He's panicking sue.. he can't believe that your going through with it!...

Your doing great though, don't feed into his crap, all he's trying to do is get a rise out of you.

[NoCodeBlues]

(((((Sue))))),

I have to agree with Tal and everyone else. Your H is so freakin' clueless. He can now see how his own life is spiraling out of control, and that day-by-day his wonderful wife and DD are gaining enough strength to stand alone without him, and that his own prospects are not looking good at all -- yet what is he doing? The same cr*p!

Really, he's still going out "dating" and carousing, acting like a juvenile, while still throwing tantrums because you have the wisdom to move forward in life though that doesn't include him? What stupid, selfish dolts these WAS can be.

You're going to be fine, Jr. Your H is going to miss the clue train, and if he never turns around (as seems most likely) then he's headed for a bad end. Don't ever feel guilty for carrying on forward, Sue -- if nothing else, you need to insulate your DD from what's going to happen to her foolish father.

[SueS]

Good Monday Morning-

What a weekend! I'm tired and sore.

On Friday, D4 and I did go to the concert with H. We all actually had a good time. H & I had one of those discussions on the way home that we shouldn't have had. He took some blame, but told me that I ultimately pushed him away. He joked a little about OW's H. I told him that OW's H and I may have both made mistakes in our marriages, but until someone cheats on H and OW, they will NEVER EVER know the pain that they've put us through. H did the typical denial that I ever tried to save the marriage. He rewrote history, not wanting to remember any of the good times. He gave me the...."it just happened" explanation of things with OW. I told him that I don't believe in that. I told him that even if the first time just happened, it was a choice on his part to let it continue. Um, kind of blew up and said....I didn't unzip your pants and stick your d*ck in her. Kind of a crewd way to put it. I started asking questions about the extent of his R with OW. He said...Well, what do you think?....It's not just an experiment.....I mean, yeah, we're looking long term to a future together. H admitted that they hadn't pushed forward with the plans yet because OW's H has stopped her from taking the kids and that the situation is going to get ugly. H is looking for a 1 bedroom apartment for right now. He even asked me to come and sit down with him to look online at the places he'd been looking at and calling on. Nothing close to where OW lives. Not sure what OW's doing. Don't really care. H asked me why I was asking the questions. I told him that D4 is the reason.

On Sat. H worked in the morning and I took D4 to a b-day party. After the party, I rented a cargo van to get some things moved. We moved a lot of stuff this weekend. We moved some things to the new apt. & in & out of storage. H asked me if I could keep a couple of pieces of furniture (heirlooms) for him until he got a place. We got all but just a few things of mine out of storage. I saw a bin that had all the love letters that H had written me. I'll probably pull them out, read them, have a good cry and then burn them. H told me that he likes the new place I chose. I told him that I was glad that he approved because I wanted him to know that D4 was in a good place. We finally got things done around 6:30 last night. It had gotten so hot. We took D4 to the pool to relax and cool off. It was nice. I caught H on the phone with OW. His eyes told me the truth, but he still tried to hide that it was her. I kept my mouth shut but wanted to say.....H, why hide it?....here we were, just a couple of days from separating, we both know now the extent of your R with her....but you continue to hide it. Oh, and my FIL knows about us splitting too. H said the first words out of his mouth were...When are you going to wise up? I asked if he knew about OW. H said no, she has nothing to do with this, so why bring it up now? Oh well, I'm sure it will come out eventually.

So, one other thing to tell you all. After the conversation about OW & H's plans, us splitting things up....etc., H attempted more than once this weekend to be intimate with me. I know that WAS's have a twisted view of life and kind of feel that having intimacy with their spouse while involved with another person is okay. Don't get me wrong. I don't care about OW but I kept wanting to ask H.....how do you think it would make her feel if she knew? Don't you think that it would hurt her? I KNOW, especially after H's description of OW's H on Friday night, that he'd be livid if he knew that OW & her H were still having sex.

OHHHH, and my H said to me on Sat.... You know, I kind of like waking up and not having a hangover. It feels good. He said, I don't really miss drinking that much. I said, (with a choked up voice & tears in my eyes) Well, I sure wish you wouldn't have missed it a long time ago. He looked at me with shock, as if it was the first time ever that he even thought it was an actual possibility that his drinking was a problem all these years.

Well, it truly is time for me to get busy. Have a good day.

SueS

[Rob1231]

Hi Sue, I think your H's deluded rewriting history and denying reality will never end - if watching you move out didn't do it, I can't imagine what would.

It's sad, that he still feels the need to lie to you, and to his father - but that just shows, deep down, he knows how badly he has screwed things up. Why else would he be ashamed and hiding it?

You're doing the right thing for yourself and your little girl. Hang in there - I think it's going to get a lot easier on you soon, when you are free of the daily dealing with his baloney. Hugs!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

What a jerk. I think you should record him asking you to have sex with him, and send an MP3 of it to OW's husband, and tell your FIL exactly what his a-hole son is doing, but that's just me.

[SueS]

Puppy-

The MP3 suggestion is very tempting, but I know exactly what that would do to any civil type of interaction with H.

As far as my FIL goes?? Well, I think he knows. He knew about the A that my H had 7 years ago. His comment to me back in Feb., was....He's up to that same sh*t isn't he Sue. I think he may have also overheard H's nasty comments comparing me to OW when we were there back in Jan. Not 100% sure, but I think he's pretty tuned in to it. And I'm sure it will come up the next time that we talk.

Oh, my FIL DOES NOT know that my H got a DUI. H has not told him that and refuses to do so. H asked me the other day if I'd told my SIL about it. I said no. He does not want my SIL to know or my FIL. The BIL does know.

Have a great day!

SueS

[SueS]

Hello to everyone!

Well, we move a little bit more last night. H got home, made dinner and then asked if I wanted to get some more things over to the new place. He was very quiet. I don't think things at work are going so well. I talked to him for just a minute yesterday at work. I asked how his day was. He said, it doesn't matter, it just doesn't matter anymore.

When getting some things together yesterday to move, I told him that we could put some of the pictures in the my closet and he could come and get them when he was ready. He said, No, I'll probably just have you keep them. Now these are pictures he LOVES. I know he wants them. I asked why. He said, because I think it looks like I am going to be moving back to IN. I told him that no matter where he goes, I'll keep them until he can come and get them. I didn't push him on why. He's told me twice now in the past week that he's thinking about moving back there. He's just really screwed up right now. I worry about him. I know I can't do anything to make it better or change it for him. I know that now. I just still worry. We have a D4 together and for as many wrong things as he's done, I want D4 to have her daddy around.

Last night D4 said something to me that made me cry. She was laying there and she said, Mommy, why do you cry sometimes when you talk to Daddy about OW? Do you cry because you think daddy loves OW the best? Can you tell me why you cry mommy? Then she said Mommy, Daddy loves you, it's just that sometimes he loves you the best and sometimes he loves OW the best. Now I knew my child was very observant, but I had NO idea that she'd caught on to why I cry. I just told her that I love her daddy and I tried to change the subject. I didn't know what to tell her. I mean, what would any of you have said?

H asked me to please take him to the gas station last night so he could fill his car up. His license is suspsended right now, but he's been taking a chance on driving to/from work. I still don't know what he's planning on doing.

Well, I better get some work done today. Busy day again at work. A little miscommunicatin between myself, one boss and the other boss has caused a bit of friction today. Not fun.

SueS

[Yoyowife]

Sue,

I sure wish I could come give you and your DD a big hug. I'm so sorry that you are both going through such a painful time. I do think getting some distance from you H will be the best thing for you. It will be so much better than having "everything in you face" all the time.

I believe your H is about to have his eyes opened and see what a fool he has been. I think it is going to hit him like a ton of rocks.

Hang in there Honey, we are thinking about you and pulling for you. Things will get better.

Hugs, Yoyo