W remember 6 years ago when we were about to get divorced. At that time I had given up all hope of things ever changing in our marriage, I was through, ready to move on. I didn't think that you would ever have any desire for me ever again. But then something happened, I began to see changes in you while we were going through marriage counseling that made me think that maybe, just maybe we could work things out. When I felt like the passion was coming back for us, it made me want to stay, and it was all I had ever wanted in the first place. It was in fact the only thing that convinced me stay and give us another try.
We did well for about 2 years and for me those may have been the best 2 years of my life. I was so happy that we had stayed together and wanted to make the best of things. We had made the right choice to stay together. But it didn't last and we started to take each other for granted once more. We started to slip back into our old bad habits. I probably was more to blame for this than you, as I never put in the extra effort to keep our love alive.
At the end of May this year we sat down and talked and I let you know that I wanted things to change between us. I also introduced the SSM book and wanted us to both read it and work on improving our relationship. We did a pretty good job of doing that for a while but now I feel we are slipping again.
I am giving this one more year. I want to see real and lasting changes in our marriage happening in one year from now. We either both work really hard to make this marriage work or that is it for me, I will not live like this any longer. My hope is that we won't need to go down the road to a split-up ever again and that is not my goal at all. Ending our marriage would be the worst possible outcome but you need to know that it could happen if we can't work things out. I will be concentrating all of my efforts working as hard as I can on myself and what I can do to make this marriage as good as it can be. I hope you will be working hard on us too. I won't do it alone. You must put in the work also.
Please read SSM and reread it again. All of the feelings of hurt and frustration are explained in that book better than I could ever put into words myself. I know you started to read it but then stopped. If you don't read and understand how much it hurts me not to be intimate with you, not to feel like you have any desire left for me, then you will never have the perspective and the will to work with me.
You also need to let me know what I need to do to fulfill your needs. I know I am lacking in the things that I do for you. To prove how hard I am willing on myself I will even start cooking for you. If this is something that will show my love for you, I will do it, I want you to feel loved and cared for by me.
W understand that I love you, I really do love you and I love D as well. However, I can not and will not go on any longer in a sexless marriage. Our happiness together is just around the corner for us, if we will really try to do this together and with sincerity. We can never stop giving our best to each other.
I know we have done things in the past that hurt one another but we can work through those things and have a wonderful future together. W please join with me in this effort and make our life together the best that it can possibly be. We deserve to have happiness together. ----------------------------------------------------------------
Ok guys and gals, let me know what you think. When I get a chance to sit down with my wife and really talk, this is the letter I want to read to and then hand to her. I think without an ultimatum she will never get really serious about making our M work again. Is it too long and rambling? All critique and suggestions are welcome, I need all the help that I can get. Get mean if you have to, I can take it. I do like nice more though
You know I appreciate everyone's help and encouragement here. I'm not sure where I would be right now without you all. I don't feel all alone in this when I'm here.
if you have to, I can take it. I do like nice more though 
