Thanks Bridget and jethro, Actually jethro, a good friend of mine said almost the same thing the other day. He said, ok lets say you do go digging and find something else that happened some time ago. Where does that leave you? Unless you're ready to walk away, it leaves you in the same place you are right now. In his opinion, I'm better off focusing my attention on learning to trust again and more importantly making "damn sure" that I'm there to make her feel needed and loved so she never feels that she has to go elsewhere to get it.
The good things about this week, which I tend to leave out when feeling upset were that. In addition to my W spending the last two weekends with me. Last week she did some shopping for me and decided to bring it over to me one evening. My first thought was to ask her to stay and watch a movie or something(hoping that she may stay over ) However not wanting to push her if she wasn't ready I decided to say nothing about that. Only mentioned that we could take the kids out to dinner. Well, she called me that afternoon and said she has stopped to rent a movie for us and since it would be so late she'd just stay over!!!! How's that for working out like you'd hoped?
I do really see in her the love she's found again for me. I also see that she's scared right now that things will end up right where they were before. Now it's up to me to prove otherwise and give her the time she needs to understand how things will be different.
She asked me Saturday night why did I love her still after the things she has done to me. My response to her was to ask "Does it really matter why I love youas long as you know I do?" she said no. Then said ILY too. I then continued "I forgive you for the things you've done. It may take me some time to get over them completely but I'm willing to do it. Just be patient with me when I need to talk out those feelings associated with the affair and I'll do the same for you when you want to talk about the things that I did in our marriage that made you upset."
I just hope I can live up to what I've said to her. I'm sure I'll be here trying to sort through my feelings for sometime in order to not take things out on her when it isn't necesary.
) However not wanting to push her if she wasn't ready I decided to say nothing about that. Only mentioned that we could take the kids out to dinner. Well, she called me that afternoon and said she has stopped to rent a movie for us and since it would be so late she'd just stay over!!!! How's that for working out like you'd hoped? 