Divorce and Children

[sgctxok]

And SG...you talk about the hole in your Ds heart. You seem to feel as though it is becuase of the D. But could it be because her dad has chosen not to play a role in her life? Because he is failing as a father. Just because you are Dd doesn't mean he couldn't have chosen to have done that. How would it be different for her if he had?


Thats a very good question. And I don't have an answer. From what I see it SEEMS (and that isn't everything) that usually one of the parents check out, and spend a lot of reduced time with their kids or one or more of the kids.

With my partner, he and his exW seem to coparent very well. SHe coached him though...she's an awesome mom. They are excellent with the child that has developmental issues. The older son seems to have a 'hole' in his heart.



I can tell you with no hesitation that I am a waaaaay better parent for having gone through this. And you know what...my STBX is even being a better parent as well. Do I wish we could have been better parents together...yes. But that is out of my control. We have joint custody. 3 days with me, 4 with her and then 4 with me 3 with her. We live 3 miles from each other and have kept them in the same school.

My kids hurt over it. They cry about it. I comfort them and do my best. But I also see them smiling more than ever, laughing more than ever, hugging me more, telling me they love me more...they ARE happy. And I'm not just talking about the last two years...than EVER.



And you DO raise another good point. While many folks (dads is what I've seen) seem to check out............many DO become more active parents after the divorce. My guy was very involved with the child that was sports minded, and not as involved with the others.

He has become a better dad to both.


Great points.









All-

great discussion.