Everyone has a bias...which comes from our experience.
The bias for this board is pro marriage....and yet many of us live with the heartache of divorce.
Lissie, I don't mean to remove hope, and don't think I've done that, and I understand how anyone that is divorced or about to divorce might feel personally attacked...when I haven't done that. I'm divorced as most of you know, and certainly don't want to attack myself.
My position is from what I've seen, and heard Michele talk about.
What I've seen comes from my own life, lives of my friends, lives of the men I've dated right after my divorce, lives of my children's friends and lives of folks here.....after 7+ years on this board.
My point was to counteract what seems to be an .... well, the kids will be fine.
You are right....many people don't have a choice. Many people do.
I can tell you my oldest daughter has a hole in her heart that won't go away. Lots of depression from missing having a dad. Some of it from missing her dad......even though I would tell you he's a jerk. Doesn't matter.
I have been there for her, committed to her all her life. I have time with her, gotten her counseling, the whole 9 yards. I can tell you it wouldn't have been good with her dad around. And I felt that divorce was necessary, and may have even happened if I would have DBd it. Maybe not, who knows.
My point is for folks who want to act like it doesn't matter, you need to do what's good for the parents first and the kids will be ok. It doesn't really work like that.
But you are right..... all that isn't helpful.
What IS helpful.....solutions.
So Lissie, Bill, and anyone else:
What do you find is helping you get your children through the divorce?
Do you have another person involved with you or with your ex.....
What's working, what's not working with that?
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
