H finally wrote to me what he thought about a legal separation. He wrote "what are we doing?" That I must know by now that he will never come back. He is afraid that if he agrees to a LS, I will want half of any property again, if he buys any. He really thinks it would be better to divorce. What would be the point of a delay?
He also wrote that he is worried about his health and he is trying to do something about it.
I would like to write the following:
Quote I KNOW you will never come back!!! I really don't know why you invited me to …... You have no love left for me! I felt that all the time in….. (where I was recently). You are just not the same person you used to be. I am so sad that I lost that kind, loving and fun to be with husband I once had.
When you left you told me that nobody can take away my memories. That's all I have and think of. I cannot understand that YOU above all people - the funnies person I ever knew - changed so much. And that you are so unhappy and unsatisfied with life and aging and don't want to get help. Life is not finished at ……, in a lot of ways it just begins. I never had so much time before, and I finally can do what I want and for the time being have no employer to tell me when to come to work and what to do.
The water and the camping are so nice at this time of the year. You know, I will never understand why you threw everything away. We HAD EVERYTHING we wanted, and we had a really good life! You always told me that we had more love than other people. If we would have gone to marital counselling when the problems started, I am sure we could have pulled through this crisis. Now we are both not happy and worse off, exactly what you told ...(somebodey) not to do!
You told me recently, that you are still not happy. So what was it worth just throwing everything away!
If we have a LEGAL separation, everything financially will be settled, and I will NOT be able to get anything from you nor you from me. It is up to you to decide what you want, but if you want a divorce YOU will have to do it.
Good that you are trying to …… (health). It must be so difficult for you, and I feel for you. Unquote
I don't know whether I should just agree to a D or not. But I definitely want HIM to go ahead. I am ready to throw in the towel. Is there any point in telling him the above or not? I just want him to know how I feel about it. There is no point for me to hang on any longer. H will not come back and in any case, I don’t' want a one sided R.
I am so sad at the moment, as I know it will never be the same again. We had such a loving and good relationship, and we were so happy for so many years! My sister just said the other day that she never thought we would have marital problems – not US.
So what do you think? Snodderly, if you are out there, I would also appreciate your advice.
