So I'm under a lot of stress, then W calls me at work and complains or is angry about something, I really don't want to hear about it, I just want her to keep it to herself.
If you're feeling really stressed out as it sounds you are, when W calls you to complain or vent and make you even more stressed out, could you just tell her that you are stressed out right now with financial or whatever (maybe not mention the D) but something like that? Wouldn't your W understand that and maybe be a little empathetic or sympathetic about that?
I know when my H was stressed out, prob. a lot of the times he yelled at me, if he could have told me he was stressed out it would have helped me a lot I think, I would have been more understanding of H and I think it would have helped. Just a thought, I realize you are a different couple, and I'm always reading my sitch into other people's so sorry for that!!! Karen
