Originally Posted By: ann25

When H found out, i delete my email (no notice to OM) and changed my cell phone number. I have since changed jobs and moved...
well, i just had a message on my work phone from OM. \:o I was at lunch. Luckily it said he was just looking for an old friend and wasn't sure if he'd contacted the right person and if not, he was sorry... blah blah blah...


....
In my gut, i say don't tell H, pretend it never happened cause saying something will do more harm than good. Part of me says, be honest. I fear that H will really freak out if i do. I'm thinking OM will assume he got the wrong number and never call again... wishful thinking?


Oh wow... that's tough. It's... odd/surprising/frustrating.. that whenever we seem to have overcome one challege in our marriage... another challenge or temptation somehow falls in our laps right then. (I got a few today. I reaaaally didnt need temptation today. sigh.)

I think that you need to face this.
Here's what *i* would suggest.

Take it to your husband. Today.
Tell him that OM somehow found your work number. Tell him that you really never want to talk to OM again. You would like it if you would protect you from him, and ask him to tell OM to leave you alone. Or if he prefered, that you would call him back, with your H listening, and tell him to never talk to you again.
Be prepared to play back the voicemail to your H. He may, or may not, want to hear it. If he does, it should help him that you are not hiding anything from him.


If you dont deal with this... it will only get worse. the OM may track you down in other areas of your life. then not only will you have to deal with that, but you'll have to deal with why you didnt tell your H about the FIRST time he contacted you.


Yes, your H WILL be shaken by this. a lot.
be prepared to "make nice" with him, and reassure him Any Way You Can.
(every way you can? \:\) )
Expect that it may take a week for him to get this out of his mind. Maybe less, if you "help" him.


ugh. i'm going to try NOT to rant/vent about .....
ugh.

My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle