Well, don't think your in-laws don't talk with her. SHE is their daughter, and no matter how "wrong" she is, they will over time, always end up supporting their own child. Also they most likely will tell her everything you say.
I'd be careful. Do not say anything that could be used against you in court...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
On the other hand, you can use this fact (that they probably tell her everything you say) to your ADVANTAGE. Make sure your conversation with them is always that you love their daughter, you don't want to divorce, you've always been faithful to her, and that you want to fight for the marriage.
1. What approach do you reccomend they take with their D? 2. I am afraid that this may end up upsetting my wife and driving her away, what can we do to mitigate that? 3. Are there any books you can reccomend I read on the subject of affairs and marriage therapy?
I think those are good for a start...basically tap into your apprehensions and voice them on paper..then approach him with those concreate defined concerns and see what he has to say.
Make sure your conversation with them is always that you love their daughter, you don't want to divorce, you've always been faithful to her, and that you want to fight for the marriage. Puppy
But isn't that redundant? Don't they already know that?
I think you might be be wiser to share with them that the door will remain "open" to your marriage until the very end.... but in the meantime you are healing, working to create a great life for yourself and child, etc... tell them about the fun things you are doing with the kid, invite them to join when you have your son (go fun places together!!! Outings your wife will regret not being part of!!!! And tell them this is for the grandchild....) Make them a part of your family!!! Impress them with how positive you are, what a great dad you are, and display all the great 180's you are doing (not bragging, but just mentioning things here and there, or sharing photos of things...). So rather than preaching to their D what a bad thing she's doing, they will be more likely to say awesome things about you and what she's missing out on. Make yourself the son in law they LOVE to be around.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
by the way, what is my contingency plan if none of her family or friends decide to intervene ? GAL and that's it ? and root, you mention sharing with the in-laws that the door is open "til the very end"....what is "the very end" ?
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
they aren't even her real friends. Acquaintances will stand by you and watch you make mistakes in life, friends will be there to tell you when you're making them.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
W is only surrounding herself with acquaintances. obviously its easy in my position to be fearing the worst, but I go out places every day now and see lots of beautiful people who a)wouldn't walk in on a marriage and b) wouldn't let someone walk in their marriage
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
another question.......why is this the only forum i've ever been to where you can private message people ? it doesn't make sense to me (most likely a good reason behind it though)
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
update. Had a hunch and went to our house. OM was in bed with her. Asked him to leave she got pissed and hit me. I called the cops they came and said they couldn't make him leave.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
