When you're broken in a million little pieces And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore Every tear falls down for a reason Don't you stop believing in yourself When you're broken
Brian, my dear friend. Your wife is lost. Meaning she feels lost and she feels like she is broken. She has to find herself, that doesn't mean without you eventually. It means she has to find herself again and figure out how to keep that and her marriage at the same time.
A lot of women who have been through all the things that your wife has eventually have to stop and find out who the hell they are. She has been living in a shadow world where she had to play certain roles and maybe allowed herself to not follow who she wants to be. This is not necessarily a bad thing.
You must be her rock right now Brian. Before you even think it, do not say a word to her about this Brian. You show her with your actions. You support her in what she is doing. You encourage her to find what makes her happy. You enthusiastically listen when she tells you about new things she tries to do. You show her with your actions that you are supportive of her figuring out what makes her a happy woman. After all, the bottom line is you want a happy woman raising your children whether it be with you or without you.
One last thing Brian and I will leave you be. I want to make sure you clearly see how huge it is for her to tell you about this song, do you see it? There is no way to confuse what this song is about. She is telling you about her, about her pain, about her sorrow, and about what she is feeling about herself and trying to do. That my friend is a gift, that is her subtle way of allowing you some vision into her head and telling you that she can trust you with these words. Now how do you respond?
Ian
Ian...
OMG you have no idea how spot on you are with this, night before she left she told me she just didn't know how to be everything to everybody wife, mother, friend, lover, daughter, employee, and worst yet I don't even know me anymore. She said unfortunately it was me she chose to neglect or take for granted. Yes I would agree she has been living in the shadows for a long time.
Actions speak louder than words I agree. Yes I want her happy and I am coming to grips that it might be without me. It's not hard to listen I enjoy it now.
I would agree that if this is how she is feeling it gives me a better understanding of where she might be, and that there are years of hurt before me that are on top of things that went wrong in our M. I really wish she would get some IC to help her in her direction but I know she won't.
How do I respond? I will keep being there for her be it good or bad be her friend and be honest when she asks for that from me. I can finally quit blamin myself for everything and just accept that which was mine and by doing this I think I can be stronger for her if that makes sense.
