Another one joins the flock (Part II)

[Mike85]

mishka: Yes, OM and his buddies smoke.

Criminy. W called me b/c she overheard oldest son say to his friend that friend's parents and W "weren't friends." W got p.o.'d, called me and asked if he got that from me. He didn't. I also explained that what son said didn't make any sense, since W & OM went boating with son's friends last week, had dinner together, etc.

W then said that oldest son was disappointed that he wasn't going camping. Then she said that oldest son's friend was also disappointed. Obviously, she was trying to sway me. I stood firm.

She asked me to talk to son re wife being friends with son's parents and about my reasons for vetoing the camping trip.

Good enough. Then... things took an ugly turn.

Somehow, she started lecturing me on how I need to be more flexible with scheduling. I countered by saying that I would be, in time, but this is fresh for me and still difficult. I pointed out that the concept of wife and OM taking my kids on a family outing was painful for me. She argued that OM told her that he didn't want to be a father figure to the kids and besides, the camping trip wasn't just families. I countered by mentioning that BOTH son's counselor and our own counselor agree that taking the kids on the trip sends a confusing message and should not occur and that a 9-year-old and 3-year-old aren't sophisticated enough to grasp that OM doesn't desire to be a "father figure"...if they end up doing daddy-things with him (fishing, camping).

W snapped. Stuff came up from earlier this month, where she now claims that I was lying about my friend's phone conversation (in which he outed my wife's A to me). I defended myself using logic. Bad move. She was in no frame of mind to listen. Apparently, she confronted my friend and he backpedalled. BIG time. Then I got mad and stupidly said that I was not about to sign off on wife and OM happily committing adultery on a camping trip and bringing the kids for fun, with me being alone for a week as a bonus. I apologized and said I should have phrased that line better. Didn't apologize for the gist, however. She then revealed that she knew about how I looked into what to do if she and OM skedaddled with kids to camp w/o my permission and considered it a "lack of faith." My turn to snap. I pointed out that she was the one cheating and who lied about it to me and our counselor and therefore she was hardly in any position to talk about faith or trust.

To her credit, W realized that we were each beginning to twist each other's words out of anger and defensiveness and got us back on topic. I agreed to talk to son. We also discussed the importance of trying to maintain our friendship, telling each other the truth, and not letting third parties interfere (unless they're the professionals we're paying to do so). By the end of the conversation, we seemed to be on track and friendly again. We'll see if I get a hug or kiss tonight.

Maddone! (Italian for "oy vey!)