H and I had a really fun night out....goodness, it has been so long. We really needed it. Bad thing is I had too much fun and by the end of the night passed out. Woke up this morning with a major hangover. H was wonderful taking control of S all day, did some laundry and cleaning, too. He was happy, in a good mood, and whistling all day. I didn't feel good until right now....all day hangover...not good. I couldn't keep anything down and thought we were going to have to go to urgent care. But, sucking on ice chips worked. The stupid things I do. The worst part of it is that we couldn't go to our first post session. Sara, if you are out there, is this going to hurt us? Anyway, we called one of the presenting couples and they are going to send us the information in the mail. Problem...we are leaving for camping Monday so probably won't get it until we are gone. The night was worth it, though. We haven't spent time like that laughing, smiling....in a long, long time. I was so proud of him, too. He was the hottest guy there in my opinion. We got some new jeans, shirt, and shoes for him before we went out. Yummy!
So, tomorrow we pack for camping. I will try to stop in before we go off and on but when I am MIA now you will know where I am.
I posted this to your sitch several weeks or months ago, about building memories with your H and it sounds like you are doing just that. Enjoy your camping trip, make sure you bring a camera so you can look at the pictures and remember what fun you had.
I'm so happy for you, it sounds like everything is going good for you and your H. I know it's been a hard road and it is still going to be hard, but you are moving in the right direction.
What you have done and are doing is commendable, a lot of us would jump at the chance to reconcile with our S, but they are lost souls wandering in a dream land
Keep up the good work
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Ohhhh, you wild child, you!! LOL, seriously, I am so glad you two had a good time. Sounds like the hangover may have been worth it......you must have really been having a good time! Anyway, hope you do get all the printed information from the session soon. It sounds like things are going so much better.
I agree with Jeff about making our own memories. Once, I even gave a wedding present to a couple that had a child each and were going to be a blended family....a book about how to make special days and memories. I almost kept it for myself. But, since my kids were grown, I didn't. I do think we have to do that. When I was younger, I was always doing "wild" things to keep the love interest flowing in my M. It was usually as much fun planning it as it was actually carrying the plans out....b/c most of the time, it would be a secret waiting for my H. And, you just saw me as a boring littel grandmother...huh. (lol) Well, I wasn't always a grandmother! Anyway, sex, happiness and fun memeories do not have to stop regardless of the age. As long as you can be healthy and strong, I say go for it and make every day count.
Take care, and keep making good memories. Watch those drinks.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Missing Post sessions is not good, but they can be made up the next time they are offered. Reading the material will help, but it isn't the same as being there. Keep up with daily dialogues, as that is the homework. But there might have been another homework for the week too. Do be sure to go to the next session. The first one is kind of introductory. You don't want to miss any more.
Congratulations on your night out and connecting with your husband. It is simply amazing to see how your feelings toward you husband can change once your perspective toward him changed. I applaud you and you effort.
Jeff- Thanks for checking in on me. I'm always keeping an eye on you, too. Yep, I remember your advice about making new memories, and that is what we are trying to do. I am finally ready to put my effort into it. Dream world is very hard to leave and becomes what seems like reality. It is taking all I have to continue to focus on what I want and how to get there. I am reading, praying, and going to retrouvaille and it is what is helping me get there. Prayer, as you already know, will help you through your hard time, too. Hugs to you, Jeff.
Sandi- The hangover WAS worth it, and both my H and I said it was worth missing the first post session. We haven't had fun together in literally YEARS. Funny how you talked about how you did "wild" things in your relationship with your H in the past. I feel like, for some reason, I don't do those kinds of things with my H. But, I always did with the OM. I view my H as this very good man, not as "open", uptight, and reserved. He views me as that way, too, so it is hard for me to be a different way toward him. I'm learning at Retrouvaille that it is a "mask" I wear. I need to learn to take off my mask for my H so he can see the real me.
Sara- Thanks for answering my post session question. We came back from camping early so as not to miss the post session yesterday. It was ok. Didn't learn anything new or helpful this time. We were told that the last session was much better. Oh well, we have 4-5 more I believe, and at 4 hours each, we should continue to learn and progress.
This2shallpasss- Thank you. My perspective and feelings toward my H are going in the right direction. We have a LOT of work to do, and it is not an easy task that changes over night. He has been VERY patient and actually, so have I with him. I will try to check in on your situation as soon as I can.
Update: We went camping for a week up north where the weather was very nice. We only had one morning of rain. We went on long bike rides, ski show, campfires, beach trips, camp food, fishing, shopping, etc. We did lots of things together and had some really good family time. I wore my bikini often and got some admiring glances from H so that made me feel good. H and I talked together often and had some nice moments where we smiled together. I have to admit that there were some depressing times as well. I just kept thinking how far away we are from where I want us to be, and I couldn't help but think of OM and how we would have been. It got me in some depressed times, but I really tried to "snap out of them" sooner than usual. I also know that we need to get back to our retrouvaille tools and keep plugging away. It is very important we keep working and not just let things slide or we will head down the wrong path again. So, that's my camping trip in a nutshell. We came home early to go to our post session and doing that felt nice. He is off this week for vacation. We plan on getting some house stuff done, but also enjoying each other and our family as well.
(((WDID))) I just wanted to stop by and tell you that you are truly an inspiration to me. I have read you sitch and posted once before (I think) to you, but its so good to read where you are now, versus where you were when you first came here. It gives me hope that maybe someday my H will have a change of heart. If you ever get the chance, would you read some of my sitch and give me your opinion. H is pretty confusing and I think I could benefit from your knowledge. Thanks in advance and again, it does my heart good to read how things between you and your H have improved. Keep up the good work, your family is worth it.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Sugar, you saying all of that is an inspiration to ME!!! You all have no idea how much your words and encouragement help me....really, no idea. I will check on your sitch soon and try to tell you what I see if it is helpful at all. Thanks again.
(((WDID))) thank you. Reading your posts now give me hope that there can be forgiveness and change. This doesn't have to be the end. I'm glad you are giving your family another chance and I appreciate you giving me your insight. Have a great night. Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
To echo Corey's words a bit, you truly do give me hope - hope that if I stay with things, my W will return to re-construct our R and keep our wonderful family together.
Through your words, I realize it is likely hard for her as well (but I will not say that to her).
Your story gives me hope. Thank you for sharing. I can sense how difficult it is for you at times. You certainly have my support.
Lots of hugs. ((((Wdid))))
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
