Good on you both--seeking help with other people who are dealing with the same stuff. I'm really glad.
BTW, I think if you don't want to hear about the stuff with her, set gentle boundaries with him. He can be open and have a good friendship with you without giving you gory details.
Only you can figure out whether someday you want to try to work things out with him if he changes his ways--you already know he's got a long, hard road before that happens, if it happens (not trying to be down on his chances, BTW. People are capable of amazing things if they want to be).
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
