New Post New Week

[redsawks44]

I think there are good ideas there.

Work on it for a few days.

Get some more input here (I'll take a closer look later tonight).

And sleep on it for a day or two AFTER the "final" draft is done.

Perhaps mail it whil you are gone. What medium do you want to use? Mail, e-mail, phone call?

I want to send her a text asking her to read her email.. we are still in the same house. Do you think face to face makes sense?

[redsawks44]

Hey Sawks, I agree but let me look at it more when I get home from work. It's a good letter, but it can be tweaked.

Rule of thumb...never send anything unless you sleep on it first.

I have slept on this for about 10 days now... but i will wait until you guys can give me some additional pointers.. thank you

[redsawks44]

Testing the waters for what? catfish?

Yep, maybe she'll catch one! OM in my sitch was a real nutcase, and that helped a lot

No she won't find anyone better, but with all the drama she has shown her friends, do you think she'd change her mind without losing face?

Yes, she will, but it will be painful. It's just a matter of making it easy for her to come back. And if my W is any indication, they're willing to endure a lot of pain before coming back.

I have made it nothing but easy for her to come back... she keeps telling herself I am changing for her.. i don't think she quite believes i am taking such good care of me, even though it's been more than 2 months now..

[redsawks44]

a bit of a tweak.. thoughts?

I don't really know where to start with this, but here goes.

I respectfully and sincerely apologize for hurting you in anyway, shape or form. My intent was not to hurt

you, ever. How I went from being the guy I was when we met, to the guy i turned into, i am not sure. Alot of

withheld emotion is what i think, i was always the type to hold all emotions in until the boiling point.

When my dad died, i held it all in, and never really got in touch with those feelings until i was in my 20's

(dad died when i was 10).In the past 2 months, I have gone and revealed myself to people like never before.

The anger has gone away. How could I possibly be angry when i have such a great wife, dogs, cats, family,

job and friends(save a few). Life is way too short to be angry. I was dishonest with you and tookadvantage

of you, that was selfish, and i understand why you are angry, and I don't blame you for being angry for even

a moment. I wasn't aware that whatever I did, would affect the both of us and had I done so, I could have

seen that you loved me regardless.

You supported me, and never held me back. I should have done a better job at supporting your endeavors. I

know how hard you work and how much you wanted your business. I am very very proud of you.

You were my heart and soul for 4 years, my everything. I enjoyed travelling with you, living with you,

loving you. You taught me alot about things I never knew could happen. You showed me new places and

introduced me to new people, and I am so appreciative of that.

I am working on bettering myself , i have "me" until the end of time, and if i am not happy with myself, i

will never be truly happy. Going to the gym and doing yoga is something i should have started long ago, it

completely takes all the stress out of my day and translates into positive energy.I have gotten out any

dis-honesty from my past , nothing but the truth from now on. I don't know why i ever tried to impress

anyone , I am fine just the way I am.

We were great friends & had alot of hopes and dreams together. I looked forward to having children with you

and raising a family together. I think we would be great parents.

I hope someday you forgive me

I love you,

[redsawks44]

i'd like to send it tonight before I goto bed... is this letter going to further damage things ?

[ms ladybug]

Further damage things? What, like she'll go file for divorce? She's already done that.
I think if it's sincere, from the heart, and completely honest it couldn't damage things. You're not sending it in a pursuing manner or putting pressure on her in any way.
One suggestion, I'd leave out the I love you at the end. She knows it from the content of the letter and still may not be able to hear it again.
Maybe sign it
Contritely,
H

[redsawks44]

Further damage things? What, like she'll go file for divorce? She's already done that.
I think if it's sincere, from the heart, and completely honest it coulhttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=newreply&Board=9&Number=1536001&page=1&what=showflat&fpart=11&q=1dn't damage things. You're not sending it in a pursuing manner or putting pressure on her in any way.
One suggestion, I'd leave out the I love you at the end. She knows it from the content of the letter and still may not be able to hear it again.
Maybe sign it
Contritely,
H

Duh ..again my friend you are correct.. how much further can things be damaged? .. sorry sometimes dumb man here..

Contritely is the word i could use..

Do you think she'd maybe ignore the letter more if i ended it with i love you?

Do you think i should put " i carry no expectations from what you are about to read, or something in that like" ?

anyways off to the gym to make myself feel good ..

[ms ladybug]

Here's my tweaked version. Take from it what you want. After all, it's your letter. I also fixed some spelling errors and CAPITALIZED your "I"'s.

W,
I want you to know that I'm writing this with no expectations. I don't expect you to respond to this. I wanted to take the chance to tell you what has been on my heart lately. First off, I need to apologize to you. I respectfully and sincerely apologize for hurting you in any way, shape or form. My intent was never to hurt you ever. I was not the husband to you that you deserved. How I went from being the guy I was when we met, to the guy I turned into, I am not sure. A lot of withheld emotion is what I think. I was always the type to hold all emotions in until the boiling point. When my dad died, I held it all in, and never really got in touch with those feelings until I was in my 20's. I know this is no excuse for my actions and I take full responsibility for the man I was.

In the past 2 months, I have gone and revealed myself to people like never before. The anger that controlled me for so long has gone away. I’ve been able to step back from it and see my life in a clearer light. How could I possibly be angry when I have such a great wife, dogs, cats, family, job and friends (save a few)? Life is way too short to be angry.

I now see that I was often dishonest with you and took advantage of you. That was selfish, and I understand why you are angry, and I don't blame you for being angry for even a moment. I wasn't aware that whatever I did, would affect the both of us and had I done so, I could have seen that you loved me regardless.

You supported me, and never held me back. I should have done a better job at supporting your endeavors. I know how hard you work and how much you wanted your business. I am very, very proud of you.

You were my heart and soul for 4 years. I enjoyed traveling with you, living with you, and loving you. You taught me a lot about things I never knew. You showed me new places and introduced me to new people, and I am so appreciative of that.

I am a better person for having shared my life with you. I am working on continuing to better myself. I have "me" until the end of time, and if I am not happy with myself, I will never be truly happy. Going to the gym and doing yoga is something I should have started long ago. It completely takes all the stress out of my day and translates into positive energy. I have gotten out any dishonesty from my past. Nothing but the truth from now on.

Again, thank you for having loved me.

I hope someday you forgive me.

Contritely,
Red

[ms ladybug]

I think you should send it right before you go out of town. That way, she'll have time to think about what you wrote while you're away. Of course, I may just be saying that because I'm a big chicken about those things...

You'll also have time to look it over. I'd pray over it too...Pray for you wifes heart as she reads it, and that she'll see only good intentions in it.

[MichelleLT]

I agree with sending it right before you leave. Give her time to let it sink in.

Do you think handwritten would be more personal? If so, write it out, then leave it on the counter when you go. Otherwise, e-mail it to her, and maybe a verbal, I sent you an e-mail.