The thing is that if he has to have any more operations he would most probably have to have a permanent stoma which is why I don't understand why he isn't looking after himself or going for the check ups.
Julia, I know the frustration you feel and the worry. I'm worried for him, too. A permanent stoma would be a permanent handicap, correct? It's self-destructive what he's doing, IMO. And I think he's trying to protect you from it.
Originally Posted By: JCJ
It doesn't seem to be about the illness anymore though, it has morphed into a battle against me it feels like.
This may have been the problem during your R, but now it seems like denial mixed with S-D. He knows the consequences, but doesn't seem to care. Do you think he could be depressed?
Originally Posted By: JCJ
Do you ever talk about health problems with your h anymore?
My H's problems are mostly psychological vs. physical at this point, but the longer they drag on, the more "permanent" they become. I ask how he feels occasionally, but he doesn't know because he hasn't actually been with anyone sexually. It's been an issue with every woman he's been with since his illness, and it will continue as long as he's in denial and does nothing real to fix it.
Now, he never wants to get married again, so no one will apparently have to be burdened with it. And the acting out he's done with other women so far haven't included having sex, but still made him feel virile or something.
I wonder if your H feels a bit the same way? Acting out to try to feel better?
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
