All I do is cry in Church. I try to hold it in, because I do not want others to have pity for me. Do you know how hard it is to usher and not shed a tear. I usually keep myself together and then at the end of Mass I go and pray in quiet. When everyone leaves.
Stop thinking about something in the past you do not even have proof of. You have no control of what she does.
Nightmares. Yes I had them, and I still have them. I wake up in the middle of the night and my head would race wondering where she was. I just knew she wasn't there. My kids were not there. I had to sleep clenching my rosary for weeks.
