Last week i had a fall out with my dad. It's never been a good R, but it's worse now. People really don't know how to take it when i stand up for myself. Well, when my dad had some choice things to say about my life and family, i put him in his place. He didn't take it well and as much as i stood up to him when we spoke, i was pretty much a wreck otherwise. Kinda made me not want to say anything to anyone, especially H. Everytime i've spoken up, ever since i was little, bad things have happened so i just don't.
Sooo, sorry for the craziness that i brought here... and i appreciate all the 2x4s and support and advice and everything!!
Friday night i went home from work with some bumps and bruises (thanks ), but more importantly a new imporved plan and attitude about this whole thing.
Basically, i decided to give him one chance last night to step up. I got home and said hi to everyone. I started cooking dinner right away cause i had gotten home late. H went upstairs and Ds were playing in their room upstairs. D4 came and told me that D2 needed a new diaper cause she didn't make it in the potty. Potty training is a work in progress, i think i'm more ready than she is... anyways... I asked her to tell her daddy and he would take care of it. D4 came back a few minutes later and said that daddy said a bad word and told her to tell me. I went upstairs and told H that he could either change her or go down and cook while i do it, but that he needed to help cause i couldn't do everything. He said he didn't know what i was making, so i told him that the diapers and wipes were in the cupboard and to make sure to use her cream (D2 has super sensitive skin). Then i went back down stairs and finished dinner. Somehow, D2 got changed...
So, i've decided my problem is that i'm always asking him to do things. if i ask, i'm giving him a choice to help me or not. So i just started telling him. Friday night, he was being an a$$, rude and mean and stuff. I told him if he wanted to have that kind of attitude, that was fine, but i wasn't going to deal with it, so he could unpack by himself. And then i let him. He didn't get much done, but i don't really care. It was him that wanted it done so badly...
Saturday was better, spent the day at the old house finishing packing. day went pretty smoothly. H had a temper towards the end of the day and started yelling at the girls. I told him he needed to consider that as much as he didn't want to be there, that it was even worse for them cause they kept getting shuffled around the house and didn't have much to do. he needed to be nicer to everyone. he calmed down a little.
Saturday night, we were exhausted. Laying in bed, he made some joke about how we never have sex... First i reminded him that it had only been 2 days, second i told him that if he hadn't been such a jerk the night before that he might have had a better shot and that the last thing i want to do is be intimate with someone that is going to treat me like he did. He didn't say much.
Sunday, cleaning the old house cause we had people come in to look at it that night. I have a set of shelves in my house that held some keepsakes from our wedding: ring bearer pillow, cake topper, unity candle, etc... I was wrapping up a vase that we used at the wedding and H said that he was surprised that i even wanted to keep it. (kinda jokingly) I asked him why i wouldn't and he said that why would i want to keep something that reminded me of that day. he said that i wasn't even happy. I told him that wasn't true and that his little joke wasn't very funny. He said it is true, you obviously haven't been too happy about it. (at this point he's sounding somewhat sarcastic and a little like he was trying to make me feel bad) so i asked him why he was doing that? I asked him why he wanted to ruin a perfectly good day by talking like that. H just shrugged and didn't talk to me for a little while. Later he said, well, i hope you know i was happy that day. I told him i was happy then too. He got over it, i guess and we finished.
H was determined to stack all our boxes last night before bed, so i got started and he was still laying down, so i told him he needed to get up and help because this was his idea anyways. He said he was sore. I told him i was too, but whining wasn't going to get the boxes moved and he needed to get up. He did and helped. He went to bed a little grumpy, but he'll get over it.
There were a couple times over the weekend he asked why i was mad or why i wasn't being nicer and i just told him it's not that i'm not being nice, it's just that i need help and that i can't just keep doing everything myself.
Never got around to making a chore list, but i'll try this week.
Overall, i feel good about the weekend. I think it went ok. Not perfect, but ok!
ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
