my crazy mess part 5 the saga continues!

[christarn]

Sandi~

I'm copying and pasting from last thread to this one....I hope I get everything!!! hehehe!! So If I leave something out, I'm sorry...

"When I went back and re-read her thread again, I wondered if it would give her more head-way to allow her H to do whatever he desires to do about the pool and the farm. That would be a "big" thing for her, but she said she didn't want to be "right" as much as being "happy" "

After H and I had the heated debate over "poolgate," I let my thoughts settle for a few days, and sent him a text that stated: "I am ok with whatever you want to do with the pool, I can send a pool company out to assess the situtation or I will send a bulldozer...let me know." He did not respond to the text msg. I have not heard a peep out of him sense the "poolgate" incident. I have sent him a few random texts...just have a great day, good morning stuff like that....and no responses. I have not sent one for about 5 or so days....and still nothing. Don't know what he is up to!

"then do you think he "feeds" off that?" (in regards to my fear)

It's hard to tell what all he feeds off of! He blames and rationalizes every behavior that he can. Everything under the sun is always someone else's fault. No matter what has happened in his life, he always finds away to fault another person. I know I made many mistakes in my R/M with him; but when we talked, he made me feel as if everything was all my fault. He played it out as if he were the victim, I did XYZ, I never did this, I never did that. The old counselor who I saw, said his emotional maturity age was that of a 15 year old(the age when he started drinking/using drugs)so he reverts back to that age when he is under emotional stress....hence all of the "highschool" drama. So him playing off of my fear...what hasn't he played off of? God, I am so sorry...today, I am anti-man!! I'm just a little flustered...If you read the previous post, it was jerry springer at work...what some of my patients did to their spouses this weekend...makes me want to stay single....so sorry for the rampage their!

"It was his big excuse too.....afraid of getting hurt"

I hope and pray it is not just a big bag of BS as well. I pray he is not just stringing me along to watch me suffer/ jump thru hoops as some type of payback....please tell me this poor Amy C. did not have a crazy mess like me; and have a crazy H, who made her jump thru hoops only to wind up in a D...well maybe it's best I don't know? I can't help but wonder if he is just enjoying this whole bachelor thing. He said at one point it was nice having no one to answer to. I thought to myself, how many times did I tell you what you could and couldn't do? But that was well over a year ago.

Ok, Well now I'm feeling like all I'm doing is bashing on my H. So I know, my mood today is in the toilet...I'm going to go shopping, that will make me feel so much better. When I come back, I will try this again!!! hehehe.

Sandi, let me know if you have more questions...Thanks for all your great input

hugs
Christa