What's this about your inlaws? Aren't they in contact with their daughter? I'd be careful with what I said to my in-laws. Even if they adore you, their daughter will ultimately come first.

Also, if your wife is aware of this relationship you have with them (how could she not be?) she's probably furious and resenting you even more for that. If I were wanting to D my H, and he was trying to get my family over to "his side," that would make me dislike or hate him even more, and want him out of my life as quickly as possible.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.