First, you are not an idiot. Something must have happened at the lawyers??????? I take it your h is angrier than a hornet right now. Oh well we reap what we sow!
I caught the vent when X's L went through her $6500 retainer fee and sent her a bill for an additional $1,700.
It was my fault for "draging it out," not quickly agreeing to her wants and (and this is the best one) NOT USING ONLY ONE LAWYER (hers).
It still ain't finished.
"When will you make an end of it?" "When I am finished."
Rex Harrison's Pope somethingorother to Charelton Heston's Michaelangelo in "The Agony and the Extacy," 196_.
Last edited by sleeper; 07/28/0805:39 PM.
"Fear is the mind-killer" Muad'Dib Me 53, XW 44, DD 14, DS 12 Bomb and OM 12/15/06 Separated 01/02/07 Divorced 05/13/08 X married OM(OMH) 08/2009 Married 06/09/13
No YR it is because I questioned why H needed S15s passport now when the trip he has booked for them to go to Czech Republic (for OWs dad's 50th [H is 43] birthday). I shouldn't have done it but I just wanted him to liaise with me in a civil manner instead of using the children as messengers all the time. I also had the audacity to ask him if he intended to contribute towards D18s uni education. He basically told me to mind my own business! I tried to point out that all i want to be able to do is talk amicably with his about the kids. As he drove off he said he can't do that b/c it is costing him �4500. I can only assume that's how much he thinks the D is going to cost him. If he didn't want to pay it he shouldn't have set the ball rolling.
I'm an idiot b/c I thought I deserved to be treated with respect. Clearly I don't.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I am sorry again Alison but once again you are expecting your WAW h to be the man you love. From reading your posts I sometimes get the feeling that the being ignored drives you to interact with him in anyway you can usually about the kids so you get a response. This hurts you time and time again and puts you back into a place filled with pain and hurt. I hate you do this to yourself after all this time. You deserve so much more than this and yet I feel you think you don't at times. I am sorry if I am saying the wrong thing but this is a gentle 2x4. Maybe your d can ask about help for uni for herself. He takes everything you say the wrong way and throws it back in your face. He is selfish and for now cares nothing for your feelings or shows any desire to help you co parent. That will be his loss.
You are not an idiot and you certainly don't deserve to be treated like this. Maybe a little foolish to expect "anything" from this man right now. That is understandable when you love a person but this is not your husband now. Do take care of you, don't let him pull you down. (((hugs))))
I am so sorry that your h is still being an a@@hole. You don't deserve that. You are still NOT and idiot. He is an idiot for what he has put you and the kids through. Remember what goes around comes around. I wouldn't even ask him anything else. What a a@@hole.
From reading your posts I sometimes get the feeling that the being ignored drives you to interact with him in anyway you can
You are spot on here. Even worse I know I am doing it but still put myself through it.
Quote:
You deserve so much more than this and yet I feel you think you don't at times.
Spot on again. I wasn't a good wife. I was angry all the time and I wasn't exactly the most sexual being on earth. I know now from reading all the hundreds of books that I have that this was my way of trying to get my H to give me the attention I craved from him so much. It was there in the beginning but once the children came along he always put them first (I eventually became guilty of that too). I also now know why my children have used negative behaviour to get attention. They learned it all from me.
Knowing all of this just makes things worse because I got that knowledge too late to able to save my M and it's tearing me apart.
The ironic thing is that I was determined when I was first pregnant to make a better mother than I felt my own had been to me (we always fought) and in trying to do just that I ended up becoming ten times worse.
My own desire to be a good wife and mother has just left me with a broken family and I'm finding it incredibly hard to come to terms with that. The only thing I ever wanted in my whole life and I destroyed it. I forgiven my H his As but I can't forgive myself.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Alison, I am dashing out but just wanted to send a hug, my heart goes out to you. It may be too late to save your marriage, in all honesty I think it perhaps is BUT that is NOT just your fault-believe me.
Is is NOT too late to save you and your family. We have all without exception looked back and seen we were not the best wife but without exception we were not married to the perfect husband either.
Please be kind to yourself, work at forgiving you, because until you can do that you are never going to heal and be healthy in terms of restoring relationships with your family.
Recognising and admitting your failings is a GOOD place to start and you see that, so you have made that all important change. Please try to have no contact with your husband-for you. Children are very forgiving and you are the only mum they have got or known so they don't see what you see, they love you for who you are. Yes they can be difficult thats the nature of teens. That does not make it your fault. I have worked with kids all my life and believe me they accept alot from parents even those who have a much worse life than they deserve(not saying yours do) so consistency is the key. I know you have inner strengths you have not tapped into, find them and be the mum you know you can be. Draw aline under the past incl. your H and what has happened. Sort out the ending of this relationship in the best way possible and work on you. A happy you makes a happy mum. You may have to lose financially, we often do there are no winners in a D. but in you will redefine who you are and how you want to be. You will be the winner. Sorry hope this makes sense maybe I should have waited til I had more time but I wanted to just offer a word of hope. Take care.
