I can't stress enough how important it is to find something that gives you peace to do while having a rough day. Also SG's pedicure is an excellent way to reward yourself for doing a good job (i'm not into pedi's myself.....but it is probably a guy thing...lol).
Give your H loving space...even if you are in the same house...it is possible...it just sounds wierd if you haven't done it. Think of the good part you are in the same house.
What loving space means is let him be. Your post about the "wispering phone calls" I think is a perfect example. I know you set this as a boundary for you. Honestly, I don't think your R is there yet where you can make demands. This doesn't mean that you let him walk all over you, it just means you let him do his thing. From his perspective, stopping the wispering phone calls is controlling him....this will not bring him closer to you. Realistically you are only asking him to stop becuase they make your imagination run wild...."is it the other women"...etc. Your imagination runs wild because you are scared (every right to be so) and insecure and you don't trust him (for obvious reasons). If you continue to show your mistrust you are only going to drive him further away. Besides it would be very intrusive to "prove" what the conversation was about...he can always defend it as a friend checking on how he is doing...remember this isn't easy on him as well. My point is this is something you can't win at...so let it be.
I think a better approach is to just ignore the wispering phone calls, show that they don't bother you, show that you are secure. When he comes back in the room, instead of seeming hurt or insecure, smile at him and make some casual conversation. I imagine he has seen quite a different reaction in the past, show him a positive 180....show him a secure Suzanne, even if you have to act it in the beginning. This a big differnce from the 3rd degree he has received in the past (warranted or not). This is just an example of how to give him space but yet live under the same roof.
I have to agree with one of the posters, I am not certain requiring him to sepnd time with you is a good solution. Perhaps a better approach would be to defend your right to stay in the house....if he wants to stay great, if he doesn't that is ok as well. If he is forced he will resent it and it won't be pleasant.
As far as the lawyers having a phone conference, I would let all legal actions be initiated by his L, and then have your L respond (others may have opinions on this). I just feel this si not something you want to be viewed as pushing forward. Let him set the pace....he might just slow down.
Last edited by TwinDad; 07/28/0805:14 PM.
TwinDad Me 39, W 36, M 11 W - MLC, WAW???? 2 Kids B/G 3 YRS Old Start of the Long and Bumpy Road..... On the verge of piecing.....a new beginning
