WAW#12

[The Wifey]

Phil,

I promised to read all of your sitch and I have. There is so much I want to write you, but I'm at work right now.

I have three points to make for you:

1. I can tell you love your family, your w, and your children and are in incredible pain with the sitch.

You are a responsible and loving father that wants the very best for your children.

2.is almost impossible to hug a porcupine. Think for a minute about that picture.

Every time you do see your wife you are bristling with anger and contempt and judgment. Then you tell her you want her to come home.

Huh, would you want to come home to you? Think Phil, this is really important. You sound mean and nasty and impossible to be around. She came over and you told her to just go? How are you going to ever get her to talk to you if you are full of such spite.

I'm a religious person, but I have never used that to bolster me in judging my h. You can quote the scriptures, but do you really think you are living them? My priest used to tell me that scriptures can't be cherry-picked, meaning that we can't just quote the ones that support us and ignore the ones that tell us that we are doing the wrong thing.

3.You can change starting right now. You are capable of love and care. You can start to be a friend of your w. You can be patient and listen and just be there without having a nasty retort for everything she says.

Even if she has caused the S, both of you have been a part of the sitch.

With love, care, compassion and lots of understanding for the hurt,