Saturday night, only one thing describes it... Sigh.
After dealing with illness and hospitals and wondering how my mom's recovery will turn out (she's doing much better now BTW), I wanted to do the one thing that makes me feel really alive and to forget the worries of the world. After waiting for two weeks to ML, I requested that I wanted her to touch me. It was the 11th hour wait before I finally made the request and 11th hour for us means 1 AM in the morning. I should have just rolled over and gone to sleep instead, because it was not ML. It was that obligatory chore-sex, she didn't want to kiss, and it was hurry up and get this over with. It felt like we've just slipped back to where we started again.
There has been no opportunity to have another SSM talk. I need to tell her that I need her working on this with me again. I'm doing, really doing my best. I'm loving her in every way that I know how. I want to feel her her passion towards me, I can't wait for it forever though.
God the waiting for her is so hard to do, give me the patience to give her time to respond to me.
