Andy, you dear sweetheart! Prepare to receive a hug of joy!!! (((((((((((((((((((Andy))))))))))))))))))))
It was so dangerous for my H to express anger as a kid that he avoided close relationships altogether much of his life. He is terrified of anger. Anger equaled violence in his home. For him to be angry to my face is actually a step in the right direction.
I, on the other hand, can get plenty angry that he hasn't gotten his poopy together and thrown in out yet. I'm doing a great job (if I do say so myself she said as she knocked on wood) of feeling what I feel but then getting real centered, realistic and making a solution centered plan. Actually, for him to be angry and self righteous (that self righteous stuff has the potential to really get me--much worse than his anger) and then for him to see that I can steadily keep a positive image of myself (THE big problem in the past) AND love him right through it is undoubtedly something he has never experienced before. This HAS to lead somewhere positive it's practically a law of physics!
It helps hugely to have the support of the thinking and, especially, the people of this site. This is hard but I really am getting it. So what if I'm a lit t l e s l o w !!!
