In search of ButterflyMom and Favoriteweirdo......

[ddstartingover]

OK, simplified, with most of the emotion taken out..........

This is a very difficult letter to write. I have agonized over the right thing to do for months, I have attempted to get you to talk to me, but have failed, and I keep coming back to the need to write this. I know that at this point I take the risk of pushing you away forever, but I know if there is a possibility of having a future together, I have to write this letter.


I know that our relationship has never been perfect. I know that we are both to blame for that. I have been willing to take more than my share of the blame, because I know that I have a lot of deficiencies when it comes to communication, and I have made a lot of mistakes. Despite not being perfect, I have always loved you. The love that I feel in my heart, is the kind of love that is so deep a part of me that I feel that you are a part of me. I have failed to express my love in many ways. I have failed at making you understand or appreciate my love for you. For that I am deeply sorry.


I have done a lot of self examination over the last two years, and identified a lot of faults that I have. I have come to an understanding about what is important to me. I know that I have to be happy with myself, and that, as well as the happiness of our children, is my priority at this point.

I don't know how involved you were with OW when I made that accusation two years ago, but I know there was something there. It was something I felt in my gut. I could feel it as you pulled away from me. I also know that whatever it was then has evolved into a relationship. I know that she has recently divorced her husband. I know that she has two children of her own to raise.

I am writing this letter because I know if we can ever have a future together, you need to know that I know about OW, and that I know at least some of the issues that you are facing now. I am also writing to let you know that I still believe that we can get through this, and I am prepared to do the work.

I have had problems dealing with scheduling time with the kids for a lot of reasons, knowing and avoiding the need to write this letter was one of them. I will not change my attitude where the kids are concerned----they need us both, and I will work to find a schedule that will work for us both. I do not intend to broadcast to the world what I know, and haven't, with respect for our children.