Slow and steady wins the race... hopefully!

[pisces9]

Hi Julia- i have Rheumatoid Arthritis which is now fully under control and im very active...but when i was first diagnosed about 9 yrs ago it was a bit difficult. initially nobody knew what it was and it tok a year to figure it out..meanwhile you go from totally healthy to not being able to do what you normally do...i actually didnt mind once i was diagnosed..then about another year later i started to get pretty depressed that my life was not going to be the way i pictured it..i started to sit more bc of the pain and bc i was depressed...then it just became major depression and i didnt know what to make of my life...that was about 3 yrs ago..i was angry and i was mad at my H for not being sensitive to my needs ( he did help me a lot but i didnt see it)..then the first bomb from him snapped me out of my funk and i realized that i better get my act together and i had no excuse to be so depressed and mad...i did a lot of work over th past 2 years to better myself...therapy, womens groups on how to be the best wife and woman i could be, books, accupuncture, herbs, exercise, etc. now i have found what works for me and i am staying healthy , active and positive...i think this second bomb is a result of my H thinking it was all me bc of my past and now he is realizing his stuff.


i hope this helps..i have a friend with crohns disease and it is similar in the fact that it just hits you and changes your life...some physical similarities.

i think its important to know that this isnt about you and it is shocking for a peson so young to get this and feel helpless and lost.


you just need to take care of you and you can also tell your H what you need. i think being loving and listening to him is very important but dont let his depression and hole allow him to treat you poorly- i actually was happy that my H wanted the first bomb bc i changed and had no choice...just give your H time and let him do what he will do. his actions are directly based on depression.

i hope all this helps!!

as for your $ sitch- this is your financial future too. i would get a little more stern about what you need...and if its an issue you must really protect yourself so you can not have problems forever bc your credit is low from all this. do you have any ideas how to do a 180 and discuss this with him?