I'm sitting here at work wondering why I'm here and who I am. It's never been so clear to me before how much of a stranger I am here. I could go back to Rutland County, where I was born. But nearly everyone I knew is gone from there, too.
And now I've got an ex-wife who can't see past her anger at me, and is vindictive to the point of hurting me badly enough to make me leave. After all, the town is her home, she belongs here, and all that I thought was "my family" is actually her family and I don't belong there. I'm right at the edge of finalizing my decision to quit my job, not showing up in court, and defaulting on the judgment. Her main purpose is to drive me completely out of her life and the area, so neither she nor anyone else will see me again. So I'm sure she'll be satisfied if I just go away.
I don't belong here at all. I have no point to anything I'm doing; just marking time.
You've all been a great help. There's not enough I can say to show my gratitude. But I'm also aware how much trouble I've caused; not only online, but in church, and everywhere around me.
