Don't want to end it....

[Mojones]

I went for a ride with h to discuss the way he has been speaking to me when he has had a few drinks.He said that he did not know he was doing it he was sorry and wouldn't do it any more.He sounded angry when he said it.He also said that he didn't remember telling me no about sex. he said that he is bored but he doesn't have any suggestions of what to do about it.I told him that is something we need to work on. i told him that it is hard trying to work things out with him not knowing how he feels about me.He said that he thinks that I want him to "dote"on me all the time. As far as the word "dote"goes this is not true...he said what he means is that I want him to think about me all the time...still didn't make sense at first. After thinking about it and reading your posts I realize that I am sensitive to everything he says and I focus on it way too much. i am looking for a sign that he loves me, that he respects me or that he will never do what he did again. I told him this...that I just wanted him to be vulnerable to me as i have been to him. I asked him if he was able to say anything nice to me and he said yes but not now because he was too frustrated. to answer your question piglet, he has been home since May. We have had ups and downs.He says that he does not see the OW. Promised me and D13 he would not. He is however very flirty and does not ackowledge this and he has been talking alot about a co-worker...again i might just be being sensitive to what he says right now. When this argument was over everything went back to normal.As normal as it has been any way. I still don't know how he feels and I am still scared that he will cheat again, and i don't know how to move forward building a life together. he is so confused about what he wants...just in everyday life like what he wants to do for fun...it is so hard to not be confused and sensitive. thanks for responding...I started to think no one would.