It's really important that you don't act of fear, and don't assum things- do you absolutely KNOW that H won't want to work things out when he has a stressful period coming up, or have you assumed that? When I first started here, someone posted to me that when yuo assume you make an ass out of U and me (ass-u-me, get it? )
Great job on the listening and validating, and on giving H space and acting AS IF around him. If you can, keep it up- he'll notice it more the more you can do it, and eventually it will chang his behaviour.
What are you doing for you/GAL at the moment?
Whatever H wants from the counselling, it's a good thing that he's going. As he says, he has some issues he needs to work out first; maybe working on the M will come when he's happier in himself. Sadly, the only thing for it is patience.
Keep posting- the board wakes up in the afternoons....
)