Trixi trying to find moorage

[Trixi]

Hey guys-
Yesterday was our 11 year anniversary. We went out to dinner and to see Batman.

Earlier in the day, as I was shopping for breakfast food, I stood in front of the cards trying to decide what to do about a card..or not...I even found a card that said "Husband, our story may not have been "happily ever after" ...etc...I love you" It was basically a card to acknowldege an anniversary, even though the people are clearly no longer together. Wow. That REALLY choked me up. I wondered whether I should be picking it up for our 12 year anniversary. That sucked. I sent H a TM asking what the perimeters were for the day, but he didn't get back to me. So I ended up picking a 'silly' card.

He got here late, mentioned my TM and said "Sorry I didn't respond; I was out working in the yard. You were asking if we should do cards?" I said yes, and I went ahead and got one; he said that I was just too nice- but, he did figure I would do that.

He said that he HAD thought about us taking the jeep out today, but he has a lot he needs to do- I said it was okay since I get him all next weekend(no pouting). In trying to find a restuarant, we talked about a particular restuarant and decided against it for that night, but H said "we can take the jeep out and then go to that restuarant after." (future plan)

During dinner we were admiring the decor and I mentioned that I thought the dining room in his/our house still needed some stuff done; he said he agreed and then said "eh-the next owners can go ahead and do that" and then he pointedly stared at me (like he was challenging me to say something) and I just stared back. I said "That seemed a bit like you were playing chicken with me" and he said "not chicken, chess- and your next move is really important. Better make it a good one." I kept staring at him and burst out laughing and he started laughing too. I flipped him crap and said "you couldn't even keep a straight face for that one!" and he laughed and said that he tried. Even though it came off like a joke, I think he was dropping the hint that I am still in the position of trying to 'win him' back.

On the way to the movie, I called him out on something he told me he did last week that was really immature. I did it in a sort of joking way to start, but he easily agreed and said he would need to apologize to his friend. Without getting wordy, it also brought up him thinking I have a shtty side that comes out that is a lot like my mom- sort of a perfectionist thing. He did have to say that I haven't had that come out for a LONG time. He said "it's not your fault-it's how you were raised" and I said "You mean, feeling like I better be perfect so I don't get in trouble from my alcoholic family for no good reason?" and he says "yes, exactly.You don't need to feel that way."

Right as we arrive at the theater, "I Will Possess Your Heart" comes on and I say "Oh! it's our song! ha ha" and he says "that really is our song". So we sang it all the way into the theater. Then he says (since the song is about spending time together) "It's not about the quantity of time we spend together, we spend quality time together." I said "Of course, I totally agree; we're doing great things together...there is a subset to that that I desire." and he said "of course. It'd be weird if you didn't."

I asked him if he has viewed all the pics on the frame I gave him and he said not yet, but that he would..and that probably he would cry. And that when he watched it (partially) when I first gave it to him, he did make him get choked up.

WHY ARE WE NOT TOGETHER???????

Steely Dan Thursday. His roommate and roommate's dad will be going along with us.
It's an outdoor venue and it's looking like it might rain (yuck), so it might not be all that great.

I told H that if he wanted to do Spanish homework on his own, that was cool since we were going to be so busy from Thursday on; he said no, he'd come over Tuesday to study.

Today he hung out til almost 1pm. (unusual)

My only bummer is that I haven't heard ILY for awhile now.

We're going to be together a lot this week--Tuesday eve, Wed eve, Thursday concert; pick up Harley Friday morning and go somewhere til Sunday.