Naming the residences was a brilliant idea, taking away guilt while infusing a sense of freedom. "Oh, darling.. shall we stay at the Villa or Cottage tonight?"
Good job on moving forward, having the focus, working together. Number 47 (or is it 48.. or does it matter?) may be the charm. Sometimes you plant the seed on frozen ground and it sprouts with the thaw. May your trendrils continue to grow and multiply.
lala land?!? Makes me sound like I'm in some false fantasy! I hope not!!
Friday call was slow, so we got to spend some couples time together, then Saturday we went down to the coast and met up with MIL and spent the day in the sun just relaxing. Walked around the shops in town for a while (which was a 180 for me since I HATE shopping). MIL acted kind of ambivilant about things -- she is glad we are working on things but is nervous about the apparent sudden change and whether it is what W "really" wants. So she is being cautious with the whole situation. Can't say that I blame her.
That evening, W was very affectionate, lots of ILYs, lots of physical touch -- and I loved every minute of it. She says "this feels right again" and "I'm happer than I have been in a long time" -- and her demeanor shows this also. She would like to move back to living together but we both think it is too soon for us, and too much change for SD8 right now as well. Sunday I went back to The Villa to take care of some household chores, while she did the same at The Cottage. So a bit of a breather for us.
Downsides? I think things are a little too intense right now. She says she wants this second honeymoon we find ourselves in to last forever. I said it won't and one of the things we need to work on is how to continue to build and grow our R even after the honeymoon is over. So I think there is some unrealistic expectations as to what a LTR is supposed to look like in her mind. We do have MC set up which I think is VERY important, so we'll have some guidance there.
I also think this has been great, but will it weather the inevitable crises that will arise when D14 and SD8 get thrown in the mix? Again, an issue that we need guidance on. Overall things are very good and I'm very happy. I don't expect perfection but I don't think I could ask for more.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
The honeymoon phase is divine. Unfortunately, it's a lifelong journey. I'm hopeful your wife will be willing to work as hard as you to make your marriage successful. Oddly enough, I think that's what makes a marriage rewarding - the hard work, the consistent effort... maybe because my h wasn't willing to do those things, it seems "romantic". It seems like the ultimate demonstration of love to me. Do I have a skewed idea of romance???
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
