I don't understand the often prevailing notion that the other person has nothing to do with our situations.
While it is true that if our spouse had not CHOSEN to stray, the situation would not have occured, the other person is not blameless in these stories.
Occasionally there is deception on the part of our spouses, and I understand that.
And I definitely agree that if we are obsessing about the other person, we are wasting valuable energy that would be much better devoted to something that would help US.
But all that being said, the other person is NOT an innocent.
And having bad feelings towards that person who CHOSE to commit adultery, but who then gets to be a part of our childrens lives, is NOT unreasonable.
My ex's OM should NEVER have had the opportunity to even KNOW my children, let alone spend quality time with them. Yes, it is my spouse who walked away to him, and I accept that he is who she has chosen to be with and therefore my children will spend time with him. But I don't have to like it. I don't even have to like him.
The key is that I ACCEPT what is.
How I personally feel about that slime ball piece of garbage that my ex chose makes no difference. The fact that I will never think kindly of him or have any desire to be amiable to him does NOT mean that I have an unhealthy situation on my hands.
It simply means that some people do not deserve my friendship.
And THAT is MY humble opinion on the matter.
Let me close by saying that I never, I repeat NEVER give this man one minutes thought in my day. Only at a time like this, when the conversation turns in that direction, do I even consider his existence. And I am quite ok with my sons visiting their mother, even though OM will be there. I encourage them to have a good time, and I never say anything negative about either of them.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
