Today was better than yesterday. I didn't feel so down No talk with the kids yet, so another weekend has gone by.
I think when he actually moves out I will be able to move to a new level of detachment. The thought also won't leave my head that once he puts the kids through that, I don't know if I'd want him back anyway. I mean I think I probably would, but there is alot I'd have to see from him. I don't even know him right now. I don't want to rub his face in anything, it isn't that. But I would need to see him looking within himself and working on what's inside him before there could be any working on us -- and I just don't know if he would be able to do that.
I guess him saying he has been living a lie his whole life really got to me. Combined with me hearing him in the past say that he doesn't think he ever romantically loved me. He sure was a good actor for 18 years.
Quote:
Embrace the pain..then let it go
Thanks for that peace! That is what I try to do. I am so aware of my pain and yet I am happy that I don't feel depressed or hopeless for myself like I think my H does. That in some ways must be worse.
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
